aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps!

It's the second day of Christmas :) *and I still can hear a very soft humming of 12 Days of Christmas lol* and yeah, it's not too late to wish you peeps A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Big shoutout to you dudes and dudettes who are celebrating Christmas out there! *clap3!!*

Yeah, before I get busy, let me just do my usual end-of-the-year..yada..yada..2012 recap! Let's see how interesting this year have been to us, shall we?

-Neysa's birthday!

-Rexie's birthday :)

-It's le moi's birthday! *woop!!woop!!* It was a great occasion, really. I had two celebrations this year. Yeah, you read it right. TWO celebrations! No drunk nights, that was okay-ish. But yeah. it was good :)

-Daddy's birthday! Happy birthday, daddy! We love you! xxx
-I guess we're just not meant to be. And I'm still keeping my fingers crossed, hoping that I'm not making another regrettable mistake. *sigh* Well, it's the norm of life, and I have to move on. Am I right?

-Shipping stuffs back to Malaysia. Seriously, I hate packings. (-.-)"

-Trip with le parents. London-Budapest-Rome. Will do another one like that in the future. Hell yeah. \m/
-...and I'm back. Hello again, Malaysia :)

-Back in the college. Or the doomsday era. Yeah, tell me more about it.

-Mummy's birthday! Happy birthday, mummy! We love you!

-Hmm. Can't remember anything related to September. I guess. Or, should I say, I'd rather not remembering any of the rubbish parts?? Can we skip?

-Sister's birthday! Happy birthday, Ayang! 3 more years and you're free!
-I got my driving licence! Yayy!

-The point where a schoolmate turns out to be your reason to smile every morning, the heartpains and the bliss, and who knows, the one who will spend his entire lifetime to be by your side 'till death do us apart'. :)

-Youngest sister's birthday! and uncle's! ohhmaii how can I fogot these details??!!
-The family reunion. Met my brother cousins whom I haven't met for nearly ten *freaking!!* years, and to my ohhsemm! surprise, I have THREE NEW NEPHEWS!! What can shock you more when suddenly baby boys come running to your dad, calling him 'babeh' (read: grandpa) and you...AUNTIE??? That was cute. haha! I miss the babies Aidan, Ivan and Nelson :)

Yeah, not much of interesting events this year. Hopefully next year will be more interesting. Ahh yes, practicum. Tell me about it. Duhh. Till the next post, happy festive seasons, peeps :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello, peeps.

Can't believe I'm back in the mode of writing such soapy posts again. Lol. 2 more days and it'll be our first monthsary. But with namja chingu busy working and whatnot, I'm not really looking forward to anything related to it.

But hey, it's a week to go before the Christmas celebration! Can't believe I'm celebrating Christmas at home this year *yayyy!!* but yeah, let's just scratch that idea. I'll be back in the college soon, and God knows what kind of obstacles I'll be facing soon enough.

I give up. This time, I mean it. I'll just follow the flow. Maybe it'll be much easier that way, no?

To everyone out there, wishing u a splendid Christmas and a blessed and prosperous New Year 2013!

p/s: I'll do the 2012 recapping before going back to KK. soon!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Sabtu lepas sorang kawan dah kahwen.

Sabtu ni sorg kawan lagi nak kahwen.

I'm 23. Masih muda lagi :) *padahal dalam kepala 'bila lagi nak end zaman bujang ni???'*...facepalm!!!

Lol. I still have another few more months before I end my bachelor of education degree programme. Commitment life, I have no opposition to the idea ... but the thing is, I've made a BIG promise to le parents that I'll work least for two or three years, the most. See? I have plans!

When the moment comes, I want to be ready in every aspect possible. Financial wise. Commitment wise. And everything. I'm not expecting much, but like other ladies out there, I have a wedding dream of my own, too. I think I've spilled some of the secrets to le dad last two weeks. Damn! Whatever it is, I still need to consult namja chingu for this, and obviously, we need to reach mutual agreements before making any decisions. Long time to go. Patience, dear heart :)

Right now, namja chingu is busy working. Poor mr engineer. I was hoping to see u soon enough. Missing my namja chingu very much!

Seems like our parents started to suspect our 'friendship'. Ohh dear. Are we in deep trouble, namja chingu? faints!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps.

It's been a while since the last time I appeared on the bloggerspace. Bianata :p I was super occupied with so many obstacles and yeah, I am mentally clouded with earthly affairs I hardly had any time spent for myself.

Have you ever think of giving yourself another chance? No? Well, I've nearly given up on some courses that I may think I'm 100% capable of encountering success. Too much of confidence really drowns you, no? That's what I felt, once. Being in a relationship, particularly. And many more.

I've encountered problems that really tests my ability to think rationally as a human. Flipping through the book of Job in the Bible makes me feel like I'm in his position - was put to test by God. I've nearly given up, and almost think that God is not there to help me. At all cost. I keep praying, though, hoping that God will ease my burden and eventually lifts them all for me. I was wrong, and things get worse as the days passed by. It was a total chaos. I was wrecked physically and mentally, and everything I had was being put at stake.

I could not sleep. I had nightmares. I woke up feeling lethargic due to improper sleep. How I wish I can put my condition into words. I almost believed that I really need psychiatric help. I was almost certain that I need to inform my dad...that I needed help and thus, be put in the mental hospital. I was devastated. I nearly lose hope on God. I keep on asking myself, and of course, God...why am I being put to test on such condition? I lost the person that loves me whole-heartedly, because of my own mistake. And now, I almost lost everything that I have. Why is this happening to me? And several nights later, I went to bed with tears rolling down my cheeks, without fail.

I went back for the Christmas break, and daddy asked me to accompany him to the Word of God seminar. I was reluctant. I was positive that I'll never gain anything from this. Somehow, I started to feel that everything's starting to change. Starting from *cough2* he who started dropping messages in the inbox of my Facebook to exchanging numbers, to going out as friends and now, know where this goes *cough2* and my problems slowly being alleviated...I really thank God for the blessings I am starting to receive. God never abandons His people, I believe that. Praise the Lord. :)

I thanked God for giving me my munchkin :) so that I am able to feel again how beautiful the feeling is when you are loved, and for giving me another chance to put things into place when they don't seem right to you. I've learned many new things despite of the ugly consequences I have faced. I don't think I'll ever value my life like this, had I never encounter such situations. Elohim, Yahweh.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps.

Have you ever once, thinking that life's interesting? There are ups and downs, there are vibrant colours and even dull colours everywhere.

I had a deep thought about things that happened in my life. My success, my failures, the relationships, the breakups, things that happen along the way... I never regret it. Really. Many things have taught me to be more independent, if not to be stronger and tougher, in whatever I'm doing. It's a blessing in disguise, really.

I am just an ordinary human being. I do get frustrated when things do not get in my way. But as I go on further, I learn to accept that I cannot force things to happen according to how I want it to be. Oh, life goes on.

Till then, have a good day. :)

p.s: few days more. patience, dear heart :)
p.s.s: i'm letting u go. thanks for being there, in my life, even though it's only for a short while.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora

Seandainya kau ada disini denganku
Mungkin ku tak sendiri
Bayanganmu yang selalu menemaniku
Hiasi malam sepiku
Kuingin bersama dirimu
Ku tak akan pernah berpaling darimu
Walau kini kaujauh darimu
'Kan slalu kunanti
Karena ku sayang kamu

Hati ini selalu memanggil namamu, dengarlah melatiku
Ku berjanji hanyalah untukmu cintaku
Takkan pernah ada yang lain
Adakah rindu dihatimu, seperti rindu yang kurasa
sanggupkah terus terlena, tanpamu di sisiku
Ku 'kan slalu menantimu...

p.s: reminds me of my PLKN babes :'( miss u girls dearly. 8 more weeks to be reunited again :')

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hey you.

Don't worry about it.
It's not like I'm mad or anything.
I just don't feel like talking to you or anything.

The next time you talk to me, please...just make sure not to ACCIDENTALLY channel your non-related frustration towards me.

p.s: best betul bila hilang mood time tengah2 'bendera jepun'. demmm.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps.

Once again, I'm going to be super random here. You can leave if you want, but I'm going to proceed on with my daily rants here. Lolzee.

We just finished our Islamic and Asian Civilisation lecture. Partly. Serious guys, it's not that I want to condemn the subject or anything...but...what's the point of studying this module if this is nothing related to your major course? Think about it, guys. I'm a BEd TESL graduate, but...ahh, whatever. You know what's running in my mind, don't you? I think I'll just keep it to myself from this point onwards. I'm pretty sure you don't want to listen t the beauty of my foul language. Haha!

Anyways, I noticed everyone (almost!) is struck with the Oppa Gangnam Style! fever. I don't deny that it's a catchy song, but listening to PSY doesn't make me a K-Pop fan. It has its own unique-ness that I myself can't describe. Lolzee.

Ohh yea, sorry peeps! I haven't been on the bloggerspace for quite some time...again, because of 1) the busy-ness *don't ask. we are busy procrastinating + enjoying the free time we have* and 2) the *coughcough*superefficientwireless*coughcough* u know what I mean. After all, this is Malaysia. A place like no other. :D "Selamat Datang. *showing a big smile while ushering people into the fantasy world where you can dream of white sandy beaches, lush green rainforest and the list goes on...bloody yada..yada...*

Okay, back to work. Till then, wishing you all a blessed Eid-ul Fitr and Oppa Gangnam Style!

p/s: i'm getting a driving licence soon. yeayy.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Olla peeps.

Today is Wednesday. Marks the third day in the third week. And I think I'm starting to accept the fact that I'm back in the motherland for good. It's not that the reality hasn't hit me all these while, but I just choose to ignore the fact that I've come back home. Ohh well.

Now that I'm back in the college, everything seems a bit...fuzzy. Or weird. Of course, it's like those days where we were still in the foundation years, but that's just the outer appearance. The college has its own wifi now, with LOADS and LOADS and HELL LOADS of INTERNET RESTRICTIONS!!!! What I found to be the most ridiculous thing is that, the college blocked the other blogging applicaton but not Blogger! (Thank God they didn't block this, at least I have a place where I can rant for nothing LOL!) I was like, WHAT THE HELL?? They're just blogs, it's not even the God-forsaken Facebook or anything! Anyways, I won't worry about that, but seriously guys, you can't google the word PHONOLOGY because of the word PHONO. Ohh yes, sounds very...PERVERT. And pedophile. Why don't you guys go and write your own dictionary? The goddamn word doesn't even have any relations to 'it'. AT ALL. Darn (-.-)"

I have expected the least that these people would change their mentality, knowing that we have studied at the Queen's land for three years. And guess what, they never change. I won't hide my disappointment, to be honest. No wonder many Malaysians choose not to return at all. Serves those kiss-ass people right. In their goddamn face.

I'm sorry, it's not that I'm not grateful for what I've got, it's just that I'm super frustrated with everything.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Olla peeps.

It's been a while since the last time I put up something on my blog. Let's see...*thinking...thinking...thinking*...and yeap, so far I haven't got any interesting thing that happens to me or anything sizzling hot that I heard I wish I can share with you guys. Really sorry. But yeah, let me think of something...erm, yeap. My life in Kota Kinabalu.

Well, as everyone knows, I've moved back to Kota Kinabalu. For a year, for now, at least. *can't really hide the fact that I still miss Plymouth *sobs!* but whatever* Ohh, did I mention to you guys that I'm not staying in anymore? I'm currently staying off-campus, and let me introduce my new place :) I'm staying at CYBERCITY APARTMENT now...TADAA!!

This is the place. Not my apartment, to be exact, but this is to give you a rough picture of the place where I'm currently staying. Not bad, to be honest. Wake up in the morning with the view of paddy fields and Mount Kinabalu clearly from your bedroom window, what more can you ask? Before I forget, I'm staying with a few other friends as well and three us girls took the master bedroom, which, I have mentioned, displays the view from the window. It's AWESOME!!!

Basically they have almost everything here; the security, labelled car porches, swimming pool, gym, courts, bla bla name it. I'm not really a fan of something that if you want to use it, you'll have to pay. So, I never use the gym *although I had the thoughts once!* and I don't have company to play basketball, so I never use the courts. Whatever my reasons are, don't be influenced by me. You're more than welcome to use the facilities here. LOL. Macam housing agent laa pulak. ahahah~

I'll be busy occupying myself from now onwards. Preparing myself to be a teacher, to be exact. *sila muntah* I'm not ready to be a teacher yet, but if I'm not preparing myself now, when will I ever be ready? Life's tough, but you know that you have to move on. Till then peeps, happy reading!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
 Hello peeps.

I'm back again :) Now, I'm settling much in KK, back from the good 'ol England (hoping that I wont miss UK too much but only God knows how I really feel at the moment :'( ) Too many stories to be shared here, but I'll try to break them bits by bits, hoping that u guys wont feel bored and sleepy (zzZZzz...) reading this post. Or else, ignore me. Lol.

I was a bit surprised knowing that arranged marriage still exists in the current world. Lol. Ahh well, can't really be bothered. But, the thing is, I can easily ignore this fact if I'm not involved in this matter. Why do I say so? Because I am one of them! Can't believe that this thing happens to me. Dear me. Reading Vina's post on this matter makes me think deep. Why me?? *heavy sigh* Bloody bla bla bla. Ignore me.

Ignore that stuff. Ohh yeah, I welcome me self back to the hot and humid Malaysia, where mosquitoes hunt humans for blood, ur skin darkens as a result of standing too long under the sun, and your favourite pastimes are hanging out at spots where mouth-watering delicacies are available and you eat like no one's watching u. *clap3!!* Yea right. And I'm back to the infamous Gaya, where I dont get my old C44 back, the prices for the food in the cafe is blood-choking, and the facilities...ohh God, I dont have to describe it. You can just imagine yourself. If you can't, dont imagine. You'll lose your apetite. Trust me. Thank God I don't stay in the hostel anymore - I'm renting somewhere outside - and I'm able to cook my own food. Hahah.

Hmm. What else should I say here? I have something on my mind. Can't really put it into words, and this sums up muchly everything I feel at the moment.


I'm tired of waiting.
I'm tired of giving it a try.
I'm tired of everything. When I say everything, I mean...EVERYTHING.

Why waste time waiting for something that's impossible?
Why hope when something is never to be seen from the start?
Why do you let yourself be immersed in the illusion that is supposed to be never exist, even now?

That's it.
I've had enough.
It's time for me to move on.

Thanks for leading me on when you're not there to catch me when I fall.
I just hope you've enjoyed the show.

That's it folks. Till next time, blessed Ramadhan al-Mubarak to all the Muslims out there :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Olla peeps.

I'm back :) ... *twiddling fingers* ...

Honestly, I can't even remember when was the last time I blogged about something. Time passes and tomorrow I'll be heading home. To the motherlandddd!~ ...*awkward silence*...

I can't be really sure about my feelings at the moment. I'm not even sad, I'm not even excited. As if...I'm not even back for good. Not yet. Of course, u bugger. I'm still here for another friggin' 23 hours and 58 minutes! *scrape2* ...ignore my monologue pls, thank you.

Sometimes, I'm not so sure myself what is really happening to me. Don't get me wrong. I welcome changes in my life for the sake of greater good *chehh!* and for all the good reasons, but there are times I just wonder if I really make the right decision. I don't even know if I really need to make those changes, and thus, wasting mre time when actually there are many things that can be done at the same time. Many a times we will encounter a divergent where we have to make decisions, hoping that it will bring out the best in you, but of course, life is never fair. You made the wrong choice and you failed. You regret the decision made, hoping that you can turn back the time, wishing that you would choose the path you hadn't wish earlier. As much as we hope we could turn back the time, we do realise that time flies without looking back into the past. Even if second chances exist, it's not going to be the same...simply because everything's changed.

I've been regretting so many things in my life as I grew up. Many experience gained and yet I still failed to learn from the past. The ignorance and the hardheaded character has led me to who I am now. Had I not been too ignorant or too stubborn, I would have been a different person today. I didn't blame the hardheaded character that I possess. It's in the blood; I do realise that. Ahh well, how will I ever learn?

Till then, pray may God ease our journey back to Malaysia.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Olla peeps.

I know, you don't have to tell me. I know, I know. I should be doing my activity plan (note that THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW: I'M SO DEAD!) and yeah, I'm here crapping on my beloved bloggerspace blahhh!!! A form of procrastination you should've notice since my early days as a student lol :p

Anyways, yeah. I didn't realise that I've come to the end of my life as a 3rd year undergraduate student in Marjon, and 5th year as a teacher trainee. One more year to go and I'm a qualified English teacher! How time flies. I remembered those days when we gathered together at KL International Airport on September 26th 2009, when we first flew together. Only God knows what kind of faces we pull when we have to meet our counterparts and fly together with them. Embarking our journey together in the UK, being mixed and being put in two different groups, Raleigh and Drake.

3 years have passed. It has been 3 years we sat together in Room 168, listening to only God knows what kind of lectures we have, what theories we have learned and the hardships we went through just to jump out of the bed, having to attend 9am lectures almost every days during the week. Now, we're going to be separated again. Back to square one, where we were first known as the Gaya and the KB groups. Why? We went through the bittersweet moments together for 3 freaking years, and now we're going to be separated again when our journey is nearly towards the finishing line...? I'm going to miss you, Raleigh, as much as the Drakes will miss each other, and each and everyone of us, despite the different institution and the different groups we were place; because we are united as one big family.

I'm going to miss you guys, soon. :'(

 the Raleighs, together with Nick.

 the B.Ed (Hons) TESL Cohort 1 Cycle 3, UCP Marjon, Plymouth, United Kingdom

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Olla, peeps. I am back. After 7 friggin' days of no internet (damn u network server!) and endless attempts of winning Mahjong Titans and few attempts of trying to win the double suit Spider Solitaire, I'm back in the virtual world. So, smile :) Yea, sure.

As usual, I'll be crapping first and if this bores you, you may stop reading and leave this page. If you feel interested enough to read through the post, you are more than welcome to do so. Well, I'm doing fine, so far, I think. Basically, I'm being haunted by the assignments at the moment and there are tonnes of readings I need to do, but ahh well, the student's nature tells me to procrastinate more than moving my bloody arse to be in front of the Microsoft Word 2010 as always to get on with the bloody work. Pardon my language, people. It's just me with my daily rants procrastinations.

Farewells and more farewells soon. 9 days from now, that'll be exactly a month before I head home to the beloved motherland. For good. For real. Yes people, you read me right. I'm going back soon. I've been here in this foreign soil long enough to miss my family, to miss my childhood friends, the greatest arch nemeses I ever have a.k.a the cousins, the alumni, and many more. I'll miss everything I have here - the parishioners of Our Lady of Mt.Carmel, Efford, Plymouth Unis CathSoc, Plymouth Uni students - u guys rock! we need to jam again soon hell yeah :) - and of course, the Marjonians. *sob..sob...sob* enough with that. Too many dramas. Lol.

Breathing the air of motherland is what I'm looking forward to, but don't get me wrong. It's just... I don't expect it to be this quick. There are more things that I wanted to do, and yet there are so little time left. I'm not being soapy here, it's just that I couldn't bear the thoughts that I'll be leaving England so soon. I'm not ready yet. But, when will I be ever ready? How can people believe the portraying facade when eventually it's torn inside? Things that once seemed to be definite once, I managed to put that away, although the decision made hurts both sides. But, again, until when?

Enough craps, enough lies. I just need more time. And space. Until I'm ready to be exposed to the world. Again. But when?


...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hi again.

it's been a while since the last time I posted my latest post. Yea, ignore the word repetition there. It's just be being idea-less because I can't think straight. Anyways, how's life?

Emm. Yeah. So... I'm going to talk about mine. Shit. Seriously people. I wish I can stop crapping when I just feel uneasy but that's just me. I can't simply put into words to describe my actual feelings.  You might think I'm happy, but actually I am not. To be honest, I've been bottling things up lately. It's not good, I realised that. Ahh well, ignore me.

Thanks to the clans who are always up to bully me (well, I know they don't meant that because they ABSOLUTELY LOVE me!), and to my friends as well. You really create the wonderful colours in my life. I appreciate that. You guys are really angels sent from God to accompany me :)

And yes, I will continue to smile even though only God knows how I feel inside.

courtesy to Clare for this :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
I am unwell. Yes, I am. Still, I force myself strumming on the guitar and singing. SINGING!!! That's why I lost my voice now! Coughing hard, but I dont care. As long as I drink enough water, I should be fine. I guess.

Anyways, I was on the phone with some friends that I didn't meet for some time, and they just simply throw questions like...'when are you getting married???"...and I was speechless. Girls, I'm still 23 and I have a long journey ahead. I need some time to prepare myself. Refer to my post here. :)

*uhuk...uhuk*...i think I'll just shut up from this point and get some rest.

I'm sorry. Maybe we're not meant to be. I can keep on asking for more time, but as I think, I began to notice that it's going to be the same thing - the thing that we feared all these while. It's just another maybe, but I can't keep standing on my toes and hurt you more and more...with everything that has happened between both of us?

I appreciate that. It's not just because you're too nice or what, it's just that you deserve someone much better than me.

I can ask from you all the time in the world, but all that I wish now is not to hurt you anymore.

I am sorry.

*crawls into the bed...crying softly hoping that people won't see how hurt I am deeply inside*
...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
There are sixteen of us. And each of us have our own story of how our friendship starts and what happens along the way.

We've been through thick and thin for almost 5 years now. And the date July 16th 2012 eventually will mark the fifth year we've been through together.

The 'curse'. The dance. The camp. The outings. And here, in Marjon.

Love you girlies to bits!
 not in the picture: Clare, Imma, Auni, Iylia, Ain (the photographer), Aufa, Shazwani.
...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps.

Yeah, I'm back again. At this hour, I am super not sure of myself what is wrong with me when I am supposed to do my *ehemm2!!* assignments. Dayumn. Had a long skype conversation with my dad a.k.a big boss and my crazy sis, BBM-ing with people..yada..yada..and the list goes on. Except for doing my assignment! For God's sake, will you start your essay today? Please? Damnit. (-.-)"

Anyways, I was flipping through Facebook as always, and there...I saw that video. It reminds me much of home. And I miss home so much. Like seriously missing home. I missed my cousins and my childhood friends who used to come around and play with me, and those who when through thick and thin all the years I spent studying, and all that I'm thinking now is to go back home and ... I don't know. I'll miss the freedom I have here. No rules and regulations. You make your own decision. But, ... I don't know. I missed home. And I haven't been back since September 2010. And to be honest, I've never been so near to home since I was 13. So much for gaining knowledge, eyh?

I felt terrible homesick now. I remembered the feelings when I first came, sitting on the bed in the middle of the room in the middle of the night thinking how much i've missed home. And I do, now. I missed home, so much. And everything about my motherland. Yes, I do.

*cries silently*

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps :)

And i'm back again. *uhuk2* cobwebs everywhere! How can you people stand this? Anyways, ignore my wild imagination. It's just me procrastinating from doing my assignment which is due one goddamn week from now! Grrrr~

How was ur Easter break peeps? Oh, sorry. My bad. I completely forgotten that not everyone's enjoying holidays now. LOL. yeah. I had a brilliant *uhuk2* Easter break this year, lounging in the common room with my beloved iPod Touch and my Blackberry, replying BBMs like a boss and do whatever I want except for doing my assignment. Talking about assignments, what is an assignment anyway? *dasar lupa apa itu assignment lepas habis dissertation*

So, what did I do during my Easter break? Well, ... *twiddling my fingers*... I... celebrated my birthday. Haha. Yeap. I had two celebrations this year and both of them are super-awesome-licious!!! Considering I don't have one last year due to Malaysian Festival, *yea, I know (-.-)"* so I had a grand one this year. I still enjoyed it though, although I don't think I get any from my wishlist this year. Whatever. But I still get presents anyway :D
And then, we do nothing. Except for makan-makan and lounging around in the sun. On sunny days, of course. And main bubut-bubut and again, lounging and flicking and tapping my iPod like a boss. And replying to BBMs like I have no life. And that's how I spent my Easter break.

Last but not least, happy belated 23rd birthday to me...*singing to myself*

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hi peeps.

Suddenly, I feel the urge of writing about HKSBP. What is HKSBP? HKSBP stands for Hari Kecemerlangan Sekolah Berasrama Penuh. Yes, you got that idea. I am the alumnus of a boarding school - SM Sains Miri, to be exact.

We have this tradition of participating in HKSBP every year - it is the most prestigious event in the yearly calendar of every boarding schools. Why? It is the event where your achievements are being awarded, nationally. For more information, you can read about it here.

I was a debater. Yes. I represented my school for the Residential Schools National Level English Camp as well. And I still have the pride of being a school debater, once. Can't believe after years of leaving school, I still have that spirit. Lol.

The fact is, we don't see other boarding schools they way we look up to our school. We see the other schools as our 'rivals', especially during examination period and of course, HKSBP. By stating HKSBP, I don't simply mean debate, although the Prime Minister Trophy Challenge is the main event. We compete against each other in co-curricular activities as well, for example, basketball, wind orchestra, hockey, and et cetera. I don't remember much anymore. I left school in the year 2006. That was about 6 years back. How time flies!

Let's see. In the year 2005, we went against Lahad Datu, Sultan Abdul Halim, Faris Petra, Sekolah Tun Fatimah and Sekolah Datuk Abdul Razak. Sitting in the quarantine room for the four tournaments with the team from Malay College Kuala Kangsar really chills me down to the spine! In the year 2006, we went against Teluk Intan...and yeap, I dont remember the other three teams because we skipped one tournament, I guess. Haha. Can't believe HKSBP marks the end of my debating career in school. Adess.

Lots of memories gained from HKSBP, you know. We made lotsa friends :)) Yea, we can be friends, we can be lovers, but at the same time we can be foes as well! That's how unique our friendship is. Lol. I miss my schooling days. Anyways, to Sainsri Basketball team (yea, SM Sains Miri is the host of HSKBP SQL this year [SQL stands for Borneo Zone, if you're wondering what SQL means]), goodluck! You know you can do it :) Make the school proud, keep our flag flying high!

SM Sains Miri terus gemilang,
Oh namamu menjadi sanjungan,
Dalam menempuh arus kejayaan,
Tenang matang pejuang cemerlang!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
1) Partnership commitment.

Pfft. Yeah, so this time...emm...I'm gonna talk about partnership commitment.

As in...emm...marriage life. Or...engagement. WTH???

So...*fingers twiddling that turns the atmosphere into AWKWARD silence*...

Yeah. Some of my friends have engaged, and quite a few have tied their knots in a so-called blissful marriage life. Blahh. I'm just not there yet. Not even close. Not even a bit. I'm SO not ready, yet. Don't even think that I'm almost there, yet. No, no, and no.

p/s: I want a beach wedding. But, not till I'm fully settled. I still have my own dreams to fulfill. Till then, I shall enjoy my life as a single lady. :))

2) Body shapes.

To the girls out there with this body shape, (referring to the picture below)...

...i hate you guys.

No, don't get me wrong. I don't hate you. I just envy your body curves!

It really makes me feel inferior. Seriously. Pfft.

Enough with the rants. I need to get back to work. Till I'm back again on the bloggerspace, don't miss me too much. Tchau tchau!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hi peeps.

I've been saying all these while that I'll be MIA due to the dissertation writing, but it seems that I can't really be bothered because I need to get away from the workload stress BADLY!!! I've been indulging myself in crazy stuffs lately *don't worry folks, I haven't come to the sense that drugs can make me happy. Euww.* Anyways, yea, what have I been up to lately? Nothing much, to be honest. Doing crazy shit stuffs and losing my mind and being the 'dajal' as always and whatever you can think of, yea, you name it. Except for drinking excessively. Hahaha. No excessive drinking? So not me. Anyways, me life??? Tadaa!

Part I: Dissertation

Six weeks more and I'll end my relationship with Mr.Dissertation weehuu! It's been a pleasure being with my ohhsemm Mr. Dyslexia (sampai me myself pun having a second thought about being dyslexic. palis2!!). Yeah, I've been working hard (read: procrastinating) on the dissertation and things are going quite well *ehemm!* Haha! And please people, don't mistaken me for having a syndrome of mental illness when I start to crap because I'm 101% positive that I'm still fine and sane :p

Hello, drafts.

  books. and more books. and articles. and and and the list goes on *faints*

my current state.

Ahh, well. Weekend comes and weekend goes, 5 weeks left till the deadline. Till then, I'm preparing myself to be a pickled vegetable.

Part II: Social

Last week was Rohit's birthday. Went out for a couple of drinks, ranting for a while in the social networking *you know which one, dont you?* and went back to bed. And the Part I *refer to the above* cycle goes again. It's the Re-freshers Week this week, so what do you expect from these people tonight? I'm gonna curl myself in the duvet and think about the ways to tame the 'dajal' me. Or so it says. Hahaha. And next week, it's Rex's birthday bash. So, to go or not to go? *thinking*

the 'jajal' me. >:P

That's all for now, folks. Till I'm done with my dissertation, adios :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
That's it, peeps.

I'm gonna be MIA for a while.

This is true. No lies.

Until everything's sorted. Till then, don't miss me too much. Muehehe.

p/s: I swear by the time I'm done with everything I won't be sitting in front of my laptop for months!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
Soz people,

I am uber excited to brag here about my new BIRTHDAY wishlist ohh yes!!!

1. To have a  party with toga dress theme. Yes, in my dreams. Hahah.
let's be Roman for a day hell yesss!!!!

2. My next birthday will be on Saturday. You know what I want. Hahahah~

3. Somebody *pls pls pls!!!!* play this song on my birthday, pls??? *Puss's eyes :p*

*N Sync - Happy Birthday*

And yes, ladies and gentlemen!! *drum rolls*...tadaa! This is what I'm expecting to get this year :) I won't expect anything expensive this year as I already had a SUPER EXPENSIVE one last year. *you do knw what I got for my birthday last year, don't u?*

Right, this is it.

a) a 3D jigsaw :)

b) new heels! *I have this sneaky, sneaky feeling that actually my sis did buy me one for my 21st birthday. Can't remember. Whatever. I want a new one!*

*the exact one that i really, really want :D*

c) perfume!!! *for the past 30mins I've been roaming hopelessly on the net and TADAA! found it at lasttt!!*

Very Irrésistible Givenchy L`Intense :)

d) Okay, I know I have tonnes of them right now, but I really, really one!!!

*of course, a teddy bear!*

e)  I'm a girl by nature. By all means, I can't escape from wanting these stuffs although I have heck loads of them :D

*earrings, of course!*

*...and bangles and bracelets :D i love 'em*

*...and anklets!*

*...although I might say I have a preference over this one, but any anklets will do :)*

I think this is all for now. I've been uber hopeless with my dissertation and yet have all the time in the world doing this nonsensical stuffs pfft. Right. Now, back to work. This is not over. Still have two more months before my birthday, therefore there is a very high possibility that I will add more stuffs *muehehehee* Yarp. Will update this soon. Ciao :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...
aurelia alviana Fedora
 Hello peeps!

Hope it's not too late to wish you all a Merry Christmas '11 and a blessed and prosperous Happy New Year '12!!! I quite enjoyed myself during these celebrations, thanks :) Anyways, I think I need to cut this short since I'm gonna be super busy soon. Sorry peeps. Commitment matters.

Anyways, so as usual, recapping my 2011 memories :)

-Neysa's birthday! Happy birthday, budak!!
-modified my room :)

-going to CTK for Sunday mass. No more Cathedral. Hello Student Mass! And this is when I got to know the people from the Catholic Chaplaincy. :)
-A very big FARE YE WELL to Cohort 5 because they've just gone back for good. Time for us to embark our journey as 2nd years, and new MAM officers for some of us!!

-Chinese New Year! The second CNY celeb I'm away from home. Great. Nonetheless, I had a great time indeed.

-transforming into a bumble bee because I was super busy (read: assignment-ing and dance practice)
-joined the Music group!

Apart from that, I don't think I've done much this month. Moving onnn!!

March *my favourite month of all!!!*
-Malaysian Cultural Fiesta 2011 :)
-my BIRTHDAY!!!!

-Daddy's birthday! Happy birthday, big boss! :D
-Beba's birthday :)
-I got my Epiphone Dove!
-and this! THIS!!! XD
*the best part is IT'S WHITE!!!* 
-celebrated Good Friday and Easter the English way. Remember my post about the hot cross buns, people?

busy with work again, I guess. Nothing much going on. Wait, let me just waddle through my brain's mess. Ohoh!! I remember now! Madam Clara's visit!
the sleepover at madam clara's guest house. brilliant :) shall we do another one, guys? :D

-Makan-makan at View Pan Asia.
-The first Borneon meet up!!! Hello, Borneons across Europe!!!
remember my posts (this one and this one) on the weekend getaway? this is itttt!!!!
-Michelle's wedding :) Congratulations, Michelle and Ian! :)

-The Eurotrip!!!!
the famous Rialto!
-Hannah and Trev's wedding!! Congratulations, Hannah and Trev!

-Mumsie's birthday! Happy birthday, Mum!
 Apart from that, I don't think there are anything interesting going on in August. Perhaps another reason is that because everyone's busy with part-time jobs and yeah, it's summer break. :) And ohh yes, forgot about that. This  marks the end of my career as a weekend cleaner. I quit. :D

-Welcome back, hooligans! Summer break's over and we're no more 2nd Years! Hello, dissertation!
-Happy birthday, Ben and Faiz!
nice dinner + nice hang out with nice friends :)

-Bye, Torchie. Hello, Curvie.

*can we just skip this part of the story? T___T*

-Guy Fawkes Night! *the last Guy Fawkes Night celeb for us 3rd Years :(*
-Last Kongsi Raya Celebration. Yeah, Everything has almost come to its end now. :(

Last Christmas celeb here! With Han, Kate, Mim and the clans. Epic! Happening!
*this is what we do on Boxing Day. pretending we're asleep. haha*

And and and.... here's my New Year Resolution!!!!! 12 new resolutions because it's 2012 baby!!!
1. to concentrate more on my works and no more being a STRESSY JESSY!!
2. to get more presents on my birthday this year. :p
3. to be a much better person this year. no more temper tantrums and refer to no.1. :)
4. to stay YOUNG + PRETTY + BEAUTIFUL + GORGEOUS + INTELLIGENT + BRAINY foreverrr! *you wish girl :p*
5. to be a better financial manager. since I'm not working anymore now. pfftt. and again, refer to no.1.
6. less dancing. i wish, but some people know me better than i do.
7. to be a better guitarist + singer.
8. to leave England a happy person. No more sad memories. You know what I mean.
9. to bring my parents to the places I've been (certainly not Amsterdam though Amsterdam's my all time favourite. You know why, don't u?) and to the place they wanna go most - ROME!
10. LESS FOOD INTAKE. Yes, I manage to lose my weight but I want to lose more. And hell yes I'm gonna lose my weight before I'm back for good this June!
11. to meet all my family members and friends. Yes, I miss them a lot. :)
12. to finish my bachelor degree with a first class honours and *fingers crossed* good remarks for my dissertation. I don't hope for a distinction, but at least, I'm giving my best shot for the things I'm working on now. By God's willing, He certainly will ease my end journey. :)

Till then folks :)

notakaki: rasa homesick sekarang nie. nak balik T____T

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...