aurelia alviana Fedora
I HATE YOU!!!!!

*enough said*

p/s: this is written on the first day of my 'bendera jepun season', so ignore this post. currently having mood swing, so just ignore me.
aurelia alviana Fedora
Ann tagged me in fb today, so i replied her tags here laa! People, if u're reading this, considered urself tagged yea! Hahahah!

01. Who was your last text from?
Nick Kelson..of course :)

02. Where was your default picture taken?
padang marjon...spring!!!

03. In the last 3months, you have been?
KL and my home, Bintulu of course :)

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yes :(

05. What is your current mood?
Damn ugly..urgh =='

06. How many siblings do you have?
4

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
Alvernia, Anysia and Alyssa. The A Princesses :)

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
cuddling beside my othr half :)

09. Have a crazy side?
might be...

10. Ever had a near death experience?
nope, and don't wish to experience one =='

11. Something you do a lot?
singing. dancing :)

12. Angry at anyone?
Hell yess!!!

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
He goes for other girls :(

14. When was the last time you cried?
Can't remember...

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for? 
Family, besties, and my other half, of course :)

16. What you think about when you are falling asleep?
sleep...and sleep...

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Nick Kelson :)

18. What is your favorite song?
Today Was A Fairytale ~Taylor Swift~ :)

19. What are you doing right now?
Blogging..of course...

20. Who do you trust right now?
my other half, my besties and my family, of course :)

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
u mean this dark blue spaghetti strap? duhh...primark, of course :)

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
nope. y?

23. Who is your best friend that lives closest to you?
tettttt...hahahha...

24. Describe your life in one word?
amazing!

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
my better half  :)

26. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping...

27. What are you listening to?
the songs from clarrie's lappy...hahaha~

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
erm...who aa?can't recall :)

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
can i not mention it here? it hurts me so much ;(

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
depends :P hahaha~

31. What is your natural hair color?
dark black :)

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
housemates? yupp. hahaha.

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
zzzzz....=='

34. What do you hear?
the songs from clarrie's lappy, again :)

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
straight, duhh...=='

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
in what sense? nope.

37. Do you have a BEST friend?
hell yess!!

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
siapa? :( jauhnya....

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
depends...

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
pernah kot..hahaha...

41. Are you happy with life right now?
yes, it's God gift to me :)

42. Are you currently jealous?
in what sense? nope.

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
a ring, a necklace and earrings :)

44. What were you doing on friday night?
movie-ing..bahahaha :))

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yupp.and i had rough times because of that.

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
sadly, yes :(

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Hell yess!

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
medical check-up. hahaha.

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
until 1 in the morning, doing research for winter trip :)

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yes! my currently better half :)
aurelia alviana Fedora
People say it's easy to forgive and forget. Yes, I used to practice that once. But not anymore after the incident that changed my entire life. I never realised that I am a new me now. Or, more or less the 'before UK' me. A rebellious me. A hot-tempered me. And yes, a never-care-about-anyone-else me.


I learned to be considerate. I learned to be patient. I learned to meddle with my temper, and the list goes on. It's like I've changed into another me who is totally different. An ignorant me, a happy-go-lucky me, a bubbly me, and still remains the same, a never-care-about-anyone-else me. So fake, so pathetic yet so true. No, seriously guys, it's not fake; I've really changed. A revolution of ME.


After the 'humiliating' incident, my temper came back. It's sad, isn't it? I tried to forgive and forget since those who did it are those who I loved dearly, but I can't. It's a painful memory I can never erase. I can never forgive them; that's the hardest fact I have ever to accept when I still crave for hope that someday I will be able to forgive them again. I can never do that again. It's painful. Even when the time I type this post, my tears running down the cheeks. What shoud I do? Forgive and forget? I tried. Getting better and better as the days passed by. Apologies accepted. And today, I failed. I failed again. I failed twice. What should I do?


Almighty God, You are the Greatest of all nation, I humbly request to You, heal the wound in my heart, guide me gently so that I may return to Your path O Lord, and never let me go astray again. Bless my family, Lord, for I love them dearly; they are the dearest to my heart. Bless the people around me O Lord, for they are the source to Your guidance in my life. Let me feel Your presence around me Lord. Guide me, Lord so that I may be able to forgive, to forget and to love them once again. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

I love him, the apple of my eye :)

sisters are best friends forever despite the age gaps :)

they are the dearest to my heart. I heart them all :)

aurelia alviana Fedora
I cried. Yes, I cried just now. Honestly, I feel more relieved after crying just now. Feels like haven't been crying for ages. And yes, do cry your heart out if you feel like wanting to do one. It do eases your feelings. :)

Shun me. Shun me not. Do whatever as you please, but don't ever think that by shunning me makes me being envious of you just because you get more attention from people around you rather than me. I can live without other people's attention. In fact, I don't need one. In which, I don't need to act cute or whatsoever that is similar because I just HATE BEING ONE! Full stop. *inhale, exhale* Now, I feel much, much better.

p/s: this post is written about two months ago and I forgot to click 'Publish Post'. Funny. XD
aurelia alviana Fedora
As I have promised earlier, I will be changing my blog 'look' on my 100th entry. Yupp. Tadaa!! Believe me, it was hard for me to choose a new look. Everything happens for a reason, babe. Believe me, I'm not bluffing this time. Though I know I'm crapping all these while. Bahahaha. Happy 100th entry, miss Beluggie! Hope u're happy today :) well, of course, with the 'new appearance'. XD Well, moving on to the details. DETAILS, honeybees! :)

1. 'MIRAGE'

Well, as I've said earlier, everything happens for a reason. I chose the previous header with such wordings..yada yada.. that's for my past. And the past is the past. I will not tolerate with my past any longer. I've decided to move on and yupp, be a new me. And voila! The 'new' me has resurfaced! Crap. Mirage here represents the state of my mind each time I put a new entry in the blog. Science explains that mirage is a phenomenon in which light rays are bent to produce a displaced image of distant objects or the sky..yada yada.. enough with the scientific explanation. Anyways, mirage is also another word for 'fantasy'...erm...in which I believe that some of the crappings in this beluggie is real crap and some are based on factual reasoning. Again. another bulls**t of crap. Hahaha.

2. PURPLE :)

Gomennasai to Beba :) Bahahaha, not that I purposely choose purple to be the colour theme for this blog, but I can't find any nicer pinkies!!! For God's sake, I won't be choosing pale pink! Ask people in House 16 and they know why :P Again, the greys, whites and blacks represents issues in the past. Keep it simple. :) I like the flowers and the butteflies, though. It's a pity that it's late summer a.k.a early autumn and the leaves are falling. Still, I like the falling maple leaves. Nice scenery. Kudos to the leaves, though they're falling. And hey, let's say welcome in advance to the winter season! You better watch, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town :) lalala...singing Christmas songs!! :) Owh I love Christmas, and of course, back in Malaysia and obviously back home. I miss mummy's cakes :(

Let me show you the ones that I've decided for the beluggies:-


I like this one. It looks elegant. Classy gitu. But then, come to think of it; don't it look a bit...urm...sophisticated?


hehe :) I like this one :)

Bah, until the next entry, toodles :)
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aurelia alviana Fedora
Holla everyone. It's been a while after the last post... and I don't even can recall when did I last wrote my entry and tadaa! I am writing the 99th entry of my beluggie! This time, I want to declare that I am totally crapping since I am thinking of new 'look' for my beluggie, and I might be changing everything again this time. Hehee. I am not bluffing. It's just that... I don't have any idea. Anyone can suggest me any themes?


i like this picta, by the way :)