aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps :)

There's too much to be said for a thoughtful year. There are many sweet and bitter memories which makes this year, another memorable year. I've been in the UK for a year and a month now, excluding the two months I spent back in Malaysia for my summer break. Well, wanna know the thick and thins I've been through?

Jan 2010- I set 13 resolutions for this year, but believe me, I only achieved 4!  Nevamind, I'll forwarded some of those not achieved yet, wholely and partially to this year, hopefully I'll achieve more in year 2011 :)

Feb 2010- One of my ex-debate teammate, Khairul Azizie Sidek passed away at the age of 22 (assuming 22 since he was born in the year 1988). His death grieved all of us though we are not his closest friend. Jiji, may your soul rest in peace. You will be dearly missed :( And yes, not to be forgotten, this month is Valentine month! :) Love is in the air, people!

March 2010- My birthday month!!! Hoyeahhhh!!! :) Happy 21st birthday Al :)

April 2010- April Fool!!! The first Good Friday and Easter Sunday (as well as Easter Monday) celebrated in the UK, in Plymouth particularly :) And apart from that, nothing much. Oh yea, lupak2. We had a picnic birthday bash for Beba in the middle of the field :) How was it? Great fun (frisbee, soccer and et cetera)!

May 2010- Malaysian Festival 2010 :) we had great fun despite being the 'udang bakar' of the day. Haha. Trust me, I don't need to apply blusher that night since my cheek went red due to sunburn. Apart from that, what else? O ya, we went to Clarks Village, The Lost Garden of Heligan and Woodlands Theme Park. It was awesome!!! :)

June 2010- Nothing. We spent most of the time at home since had no more classes. Dayyum bored!!

July 2010- Home sweet home! Check this entry and this entry. My frustration towards British airport and AirAsia! Well, at least I landed safely and had a great time there aite? Though there are few incidents which if I were to choose, I would rather not remember even the tiniest bits of it.

August 2010- Nothing much. Serious, it's empty.

September 2010- My summer break ends. Juniors come and flooded MARJON. Hahahha. Welcome peeps! (Again??) What else? It's beginning to get cold here. Brrr... And I moved into House 16 with Beba :)

October 2010- Again, nothing. Oh yea, a month of not-so-good mood. Trust me, I was in bad state that time. Elected as the Arts & Cultural Officer of Malaysian Association of UCP Marjon. Oh,yes.

November 2010- Nothing. O yea, endless meetings. Life? Zero, zilch. Forgot to mention summore, I got my job as a student ambassador and a sport centre cleaner here in Marjon! Fulussss, dtglaa kepadaku...hoyeahh :)

December 2010- Merry Christmas everyone! The first open house event we did. At least it eases our feelings of being faraway from home (and envied those back home!) :( And yes, we had a great trip this year :) Nottingham -> Manchester -> Newcastle (nearly stranded here) -> Edinburgh -> Glasgow -> London -> back safe and sound to Plymouth :) and one thing that touches me most is the demise of my beloved Grandma (29.12.2010, 1130 hrs). I was saddened by the fact that I was not able to be around her for the last time... until her lifeless body was sent to be put into the tomb this afternoon (Msian time). She's at peace and they saw her smiling face; her time has come. You will be dearly missed, grandma. I love you alws.

That's a wrap up for this year. Till then, Happy New Year 2011 peeps :) Hav a blast and may God bless you all :)
Labels: 0 comments | edit post
aurelia alviana Fedora
Hello peeps :) It was superb despite several obstacles which pollutes my eyes. 1) just let me and those who may concern knows. None of your business. Period. 2) can't think of any reason to why I come up with such statement. Lalala~

Well, I just came back from my vacation :) a 6 days trip to Nottingham-Manchester-Newcastle-Edinburgh-Glasgow-London-straightaway back to Plymouth. Tiring, but awesome. A total random awesome-ness. Hahah. So, pardon me for abandoning this blog for quite some time. And yes, I noticed that my language is sucker and sucker each day. Urgh. Is this the way an English teacher speaks? Reminder to self: no worries. I am talking about myself, not others. So let them say anything they want. Don't bother the mulut tempayans. Hahah. Crap.

We also had our very first Christmas open house, here in Plymouth. mark my word, our VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS OPEN HOUSE. Yea, coz last year I spent my Christmas in a hotel room with few babes *konon nak rasa Christmas kat London padahal hampeh. huh. meriah lagi xmas kat msia* Thanks for those who came that day, your presence makes us feel less homesick :) I do admit that I feel homesick that day :( I miss celebrating Christmas with my dearie cuzzies and sisters, fooling around and making merry... I will be back there soon. But not now :) For those who can't make it, no big deal peeps :) We'll do again some other time k?

Ahh, penat penat. Penat travel, penat layan orang. Now I need to fix my biological clock and have some rest. Till the next entry, chaloo people :) xx

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year people :)
aurelia alviana Fedora
*mind the title. PART I.ahah.this is serious mann.no joking.lalala~*

Ahaha! We haven't reached the end of the year of 2010 yet but I have come up with my very own wishlist! Bear in mind people, it's a long term wishlist (and if you wish to give me one as my coming birthday presents, sia lagi sukak ituuu! ahahah! ). They are...*drum rolls*... check it out :)

1. To own every House of Night novel series ( Marked, Betrayed, Chosen, Untamed, Hunted, Tempted, Burned, Awakened)
2. D.I.Y my own room like this one


super cool mannnn!!!

Not exactly like this one (habislaa duit aku klu cmtuu TT) but almost like that. I'll work it out. Ahah :)
3. Lose some weight!
4. Do better in studies, of course :)
5. Work! Earn some monnaaaayyy!!!
6. Bring my better half for a tour to somewhere, which I can't think of at the moment. Will blog about that soon. :)
7. Having my own hair dryer and a hair styler (or hair tongs? kot. :P) Who knows I may got one for my coming birthday? *hinting*
8. To have lots and lots of dresses! Yang chanteks and sesuai dipakai g memana okay :P

I'll add summore from time to time. And yes, I'll cross out as well if I got one :) Till then, cheers :)
aurelia alviana Fedora
saya sakit.

flu + batuk. sangat susah nak tido.

pedih naseng. mistikah aw bak subet getan iyen, sngajak bak madak melou pedih naseng gem aw?

akw malaih bak menyebut, sebab akw lok aw adep sader ineu wak senebut neu iyen. pulak aw subet da tao pulak. hadih. saber un laa.

beh itau, aw subetla keja adep2. malaih mua bak gem aw bak subet keja dagen lebok tw. rugi. miwek tenaga kw un mun ujung2 iyen aw siep2 bak mngata keja mua. diak dibuh jelakau.
aurelia alviana Fedora
*nah, ambik sbijik. hahaha. nak jgak aku tulis sal ko. wakakaka.

Eheh. Atas tu hanyalah gurauan semata-mata. I don't mean to be such an evil spoiled brat, okke. *angel halo suddenly appeared on my head and *pooff!* gone =='* Okay, this is about a friend, no, a buddy who wanted me to write something about him since he'll be leaving us soon for good. Yelaa, orang tuu da hampir sah da bergelar CIKGU daa...


Hahhaa. Anda jangan tertipu dengan aksi ini. By the way, he's Azar Syafiq, or known as NARAMERAH :) KP Malaysia bernombor 890923065791 (xpasti betol ke x, tp cm betol je..hahaha XD), same age as me, but he's in Cohort 5 Cycle 2. Budak pndai kan, mestilaa melangkau. Hahaha. He was the Vice President of Malaysian Association of UCP Marjon 2009/2010 and also the Project Director of Malaysian Festival 2010 as well as the director for our theatre 'The Sound of Unity'. Pergh, bapak gila kuasa Azar nie. Hahaha. Please bear in mind that he is not at all as kenit as pictured above. Dia xkenit ponn. Hahaha.

He's the one that I mentioned in the previous post (refer to this post). Oklaa, I admit that though he sounded like a bully (and he's NOT even a bully), he's a good friend. He's totally good. He even promotes ASDA when we first came. Malu kot mase dalam bas tuu siap panggil dye ABANG AZAR and yet to learn the truth that he's 6 months younger than me! For God's sake! *malu siot..hahah!*


The first long conversation we had - on the way back from Warwick. Learning the truth that he's one of the 542. Man, seriously that time I didn't believe him! Cam menipu jekk. Agagaga. Sori laa bai. Serius gua xcaya sma lu mse tuu. Hahahah. From that conversation onwards, we gila2 tahap gila everytime gila2. Hahaha. Xpaham? Xyah paham. Just leave it to those who understands better :P


Did I mention that he was our Project Director for MFest 2010? Oh yes. He's good in managing things during this time. Not just good. Wayy better man. I doubt if there's anyone who can replace him. People who doesn't know him better xkan tau cmne cara dia bekerja. For that few months, semua orang stress, penat bagai nak rak but nevertheless we enjoyed the outcome. People liked the theatre. People liked the dances. It was a success. Our efforts are worthwhile. (Betul ke ayat nie? *garu kepala jap*) Kudos to him, the project director :) Without his support, this will go nowhere. So, a challenge to MFest 2011; can we maintain or make it even better?


I like this spoof; he's a good photographer :) This is taken during one of the photo shoots to promote the 2010 MFest. Tengoklaa, he's another good example of pemimpin berjiwa rakyat. Dye boss, dye gak jadi kuli bwat keje. Hahaha. Kidding. Tuu laa, ko suro ak merapik banyak sangat sal ko. Ambik ko. Hahahhaa.


My first year; yes, I was innocent that time. Skati die jekk nak bwt cmtu kan? Hahaha. But wait, take a look at the next picture.


Tengok, lpas stahun ponn dye masih bdendam ngan aku. Only now you know the real Azar. Hahaha. Kidding. I enjoyed hanging out with these people. You don't have to pretend to be somebody; they make you feel like you're somebody. Later after Azar and his comrades gone back for good, I wonder what will happen to this society next. *long sigh*


Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow,
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead,
But walk beside me and be my friends. :)


Hahaha. Okkelaa. I have nothing to say anymore. We wish you good luck and all the best in ur future undertakings, no matter where you will be placed after you finish your practicum (do let us know!), and lu jangan brani nak buang member2 lu bai... hahahah~ That's all folks. Penat aku merepek sal dye nie. Chalooo...

p/s: akhirnya saya berjaya 'buli' dye balik :) Nie laa buktinya.. Thnks Zue for the pic :) Sori ambik tanpa kebenaran..wakakaka XD


p/s 2: tgklaa snyuman sinis dye tuu. snyuman pembuli seyh.. hahaha. edehh... i'll be missing all the crappings when he's returning to IPBA soon :(

aurelia alviana Fedora
Ahh, it's obvious that I get bored easily with my blog look. Therefore, TADAAAA!!! Again, for the I-don't-know-how-many-times-I've-changed-the-blog-look times, I have changed it again. Notice the repetition? So not me. Duhh.


By the way, I'll be having my ATL quiz tomorrow (Monday, 29th November 2010). Sounds cool, huh? Yeah, cool it is. It's way COOLer when I haven't revised any of the ELT methods. Damnit. No worries. I still have time until tonight. Not when I suddenly realised...oh-emm-gee, I have to complete my Frankenstein vewy sooon!!!! I'm so gonna be sayur by this Friday =='


That's how a student's life suppose to be. Full of academical commitment. Is it? Life of a second-year overseas teacher trainee, what do you expect? Please expect the least when your guesses are 1) ouh..haha..mestilaa dia lenggang kangkung sebab dia belajar overseas :P or 2) misti dia banyak berjalan kan? dapat p tinguk itu ManU main d old trafford sana.. for God's sake, am I that rich until I have loads and loads of monaaayyyy to go and walk around the whole world? Please, don't be surprise people. The money's provided suffice our daily needs a.k.a food, but NOT our desires. Now only you know the life of people studying overseas, eyh? Unless you have parents who can give you £1000 for two months, please don't ever dream of spending the money lavishly a.k.a skati mak bapak korg. And and and, for those people whose parents are super duper duit melimpah ruah, please don't take the government's scholarship. There are other people who need it more than you do. *mode: perosak bahasa :P*


Oww ya, before I forgot, this post is not meant to condemn anyone as this is just a 2 cents of mine. No hard feelings. Or, should I voice this out to the government so that they can consider of giving away scholarships in the future? Hahaha. Crazy me :P
aurelia alviana Fedora
I have decided.

I won't hate you anymore. It's useless.
We used to be close once, but because of small matters, we parted afar and we stopped greeting each other.
I like it that way, since you hurt me so much.
Yet, I never wanted to hurt you back, because I still treasure you as a friend.
Things will never be the same, babe. Things will never be the same.
From this point onwards, my life and your life, we will lead a different way.
I won't say that I won't put my trust on you since I still want to treasure you as a friend.
After all, a friend is not a friend if there's not bond of trust between both.
But, we will never be as close as before.
We will never be. I have learned my lesson.
Still, I hope we still can be friends, and I hope you learned your lesson.
That is my prayer for you this coming Christmas.
May this Advent season brings shine into your life so that you are able to reflect back the friendship we once had.
See, I am still a good friend.
Am I? Or is it I am the one changing into a devil?
aurelia alviana Fedora
Oleh sebab Cik Ika yang tag, maka saya terpaksa menjawab soklan nie. hahahaha.

Rules and Regulations:
Once you've been tagged, u r supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits or goal about u.
At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

Ini 25 fakta tentang saya :)

1. Nama saya Alviana Fedora :)
2. Umo saya (currently) 21 tahun :)
3. Currently in a relationship with Enchik Nick Kolson (sorry syg sngja slh eja :P), now almost reaching 3 years :) bahahaha!~ loving it :)
4. Hates...nope, dislikes people who hurt me and my friends. Mind you, I am revengeful. *roarrr* ahaha.
5. Currently taking up B.Ed (Hons) TESL, in the 2nd year in UCP Marjon, Plymouth, United Kingdom.
6. Eldest among four princesses. No boys in the siblings :)
7. It's 12:42pm when this entry is typed.
8. crazy over and over about dancing!
9. misses doing sports. Jom ber-basketball!
10. loves teddybears. Tanyelaa ngan ex-roommates and housemates brpe banyak teddies and berapa besar my teddies :) hahaha~
11. slalu kene suru makeup bile ade performance. of koz laa, i'm an expert kan? cheewaaaahhhhh!!!~
12. Da blurr da xtau da ape nak taip. pergh =='
13. Dalam sminggu sy cuma ada klas pd hari Isnin dan Khamis jekk. Hari2 lain saya duduk diam2 dalam bilik jekk. Baik kan saya? :P
14. Tengah dilanda rasa malas nak buat assignment.
15. I love my honeybee :) <3
16. Ada 9 lagi fakta yg sy kena taip pasal diri saya. Wahahaha~
17. Saya suka bilik saya, tapi sekarang nie saya malas nak kemas. Blame the assignments :)
18. I miss dancing. Seriously. People (to whom it may concern), bole x don't interfere in my businesss?????
19. Saya rasa cam nak marah jekk. I don't know why.
20. Youtube-ing is my new hobby.
21. Tinggal skit je lagi. Cepat Al cepat!
22. I enjoyed playing Freak Out yang cam bangang sebab saya rasa cam kene lambung2 dalam udara. Nevertheless I enjoyed it. You pay to scream. Sangat gilosss. Hahaha.
23. I still can't believe I am in the UK right now. Woot2!!!
24. By the time I finish typing this entry, it is already 12:55pm. Trust me.
25. Refer to no.24. Told ya :)

I tag anyone who reads this post! Lalalala~
aurelia alviana Fedora
Dear readers (ececehhhhh!!!),

Pardon for the foul languages in my previous post and another previous post, honestly I can't control my temper when I am in the *not-s0-good* season. There are so many things that can spark my flame of anger easily. Just say what you want. You name it. Almost everything is related to it, including the tiniest bit of issue such as food. Mind you, I can be extremely sensitive when the time's not right.

I'm giving up to so many things lately. I keep on hoping, and I keep on getting things that I least expected. In other words, I keep on getting things I never expected. When things get rough, I keep on asking myself, what is wrong with me? Why is it I am the one to be blamed? I admit that I am not perfect. I am not Gaia. I am not Demeter. I am not Aphrodite, and obviously I am not Athena. Duhh. I am just a normal girl with high ambitions that can never be achieved till today (because obviously I am a lazy-bone. Bahahaha.) But then, why am I never getting the things that I expected, even once? I am not Medusa who can petrify everyone whoever looks at her. Or... am I a cannibal? Duhh! Please!

I never admit this, but I miss him ;( I keep on listening to this song (refer to my previous post) and suddenly, I said to myself, how I wish him to be here, because I need hugs ;( and of course, kisses. I miss those times. I need his words to encourage me to be stronger in facing trials and challenges I least expect. All those things; backstabbing, bad mouthing and bloody bla..bla..bla.. shows no signs of ending. I need peace. I need something to soothe my unsettling mind. Somebody can help me untangling the mess in my head? Nah, don't trouble yourself. You can't even see the starting point, so what's the worth of doing it anyway?

It's no use writing longer posts when your heart is full of anger. I think I'm going to recite my Divine Mercy before I go to bed. Hmm. 0008 hours. Time to hibernate and rest my mind. See you in the morning peeps! :)
aurelia alviana Fedora
There are thousands of words which I can use to describe my present feelings, but I wish to use those three words (the title of the post) instead since that's the only phrase that pictures my present feelings. You know why?

1. You. Yes, you. You know that I am super duper hyper and furiously mad at you and yet you did not apologise to me. Ape, takut ke? As if I eat people; as if I am a cannibal. Oh yes, I am a cannibal. Duhh, what's done is done. I don't eff-ing care anymore. From that moment onwards, I did tell myself that I wish not to be involved in your matters anymore, and now I am going to repeat what has been said earlier. I AM NOT GOING TO BOTHER WHAT IS GOING ON; I just want to be at ease by myself. Yes, I may not be as outstanding as you, (mind you, I can be more outstanding than you), but don't think that I am a total idiot that does not know what's going on around me. Don't think that I don't even know the tricks you are trying to play behind me. I keep spare eyes, just so you know. So, hands off please. I don't want you to dirty my territory with your filthy hands. Hahhaa~

2. I guess that this one I better keep this to myself... since it's just a small matter. Learn to control your temper babe. You're 21 now. Hahah~

Why on earth there must be idiots and hypocrites straying and polluting the beauty of human goodness and empathy?? (what thehell am I crapping now??) Oh God... I need to sleep now. All that's good and well, till we meet again in the next crappy post. Hahhha~
aurelia alviana Fedora
Malas daa aku nak pike banyak2.
Aku tengah period nie okke.
Ko buat aku panas sekarang, xpe.
Aku sabar jekk.
Tuhan jekk yg boley balas.
Aku malas nak balas.
Sebab klu aku yg balas balik2 ak yg kne.
Sebab baik sangat kah?
Sebab kepala aku nie senang sangat kene pijak kah?
Aku bosan. Aku penat.


Bosan aku dengan penat,
Dan enyah saja kau pekat,
Seperti berjelaga jika ku sendiri...
(Ada Apa Dengan Cinta)
aurelia alviana Fedora
Ya Tuhan...
sabarnya akuuuu...
Ko bg excuse ckp ko ade keje lain, bile ak bukak *tuutt!!*, ko pi bwat keje lain...
Oo... cmni laa ko...
Tikam aku dr belakang!
Siaplaa ko aku asah pisau tajam2,
Aku berubah jadi Mona Fendy dalam sekelip mata jangan salahkan aku!!!
U biatch!
 Aku tarik rambut ko baru padan muke!
Oh noo... itu cara xprofesional...
Xsangka... ko gunekan aku bile ko xde 'tulang belakang'
Skrg nie ko ade tulang belakang 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 bijik,
Ko buang aku jauh2.
Klu boleh dalam Lautan Pasifik biar xnampak bayang.
Cam haram!
Fine, ko buatlaa apa yang ko nak.
Jangan ingat aku xpandai balas!
Ambik kesempatan terhadap kebaikan orang lain.
Dasar lintah! Parasitttt!!!

p/s: pos ini ditaip di kala tangan aku tengah bergegar menahan marah. Shoot you!!!!
aurelia alviana Fedora
I HATE YOU!!!!!

*enough said*

p/s: this is written on the first day of my 'bendera jepun season', so ignore this post. currently having mood swing, so just ignore me.
aurelia alviana Fedora
Ann tagged me in fb today, so i replied her tags here laa! People, if u're reading this, considered urself tagged yea! Hahahah!

01. Who was your last text from?
Nick Kelson..of course :)

02. Where was your default picture taken?
padang marjon...spring!!!

03. In the last 3months, you have been?
KL and my home, Bintulu of course :)

04. Have you ever lost a close friend?
Yes :(

05. What is your current mood?
Damn ugly..urgh =='

06. How many siblings do you have?
4

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
Alvernia, Anysia and Alyssa. The A Princesses :)

08. Where do you wish you were right now?
cuddling beside my othr half :)

09. Have a crazy side?
might be...

10. Ever had a near death experience?
nope, and don't wish to experience one =='

11. Something you do a lot?
singing. dancing :)

12. Angry at anyone?
Hell yess!!!

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
He goes for other girls :(

14. When was the last time you cried?
Can't remember...

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for? 
Family, besties, and my other half, of course :)

16. What you think about when you are falling asleep?
sleep...and sleep...

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Nick Kelson :)

18. What is your favorite song?
Today Was A Fairytale ~Taylor Swift~ :)

19. What are you doing right now?
Blogging..of course...

20. Who do you trust right now?
my other half, my besties and my family, of course :)

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
u mean this dark blue spaghetti strap? duhh...primark, of course :)

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
nope. y?

23. Who is your best friend that lives closest to you?
tettttt...hahahha...

24. Describe your life in one word?
amazing!

25. Who are you thinking of right now?
my better half  :)

26. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping...

27. What are you listening to?
the songs from clarrie's lappy...hahaha~

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
erm...who aa?can't recall :)

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
can i not mention it here? it hurts me so much ;(

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
depends :P hahaha~

31. What is your natural hair color?
dark black :)

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
housemates? yupp. hahaha.

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
zzzzz....=='

34. What do you hear?
the songs from clarrie's lappy, again :)

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
straight, duhh...=='

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
in what sense? nope.

37. Do you have a BEST friend?
hell yess!!

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
siapa? :( jauhnya....

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
depends...

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
pernah kot..hahaha...

41. Are you happy with life right now?
yes, it's God gift to me :)

42. Are you currently jealous?
in what sense? nope.

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing?
a ring, a necklace and earrings :)

44. What were you doing on friday night?
movie-ing..bahahaha :))

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yupp.and i had rough times because of that.

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
sadly, yes :(

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
Hell yess!

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
medical check-up. hahaha.

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
until 1 in the morning, doing research for winter trip :)

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
yes! my currently better half :)
aurelia alviana Fedora
People say it's easy to forgive and forget. Yes, I used to practice that once. But not anymore after the incident that changed my entire life. I never realised that I am a new me now. Or, more or less the 'before UK' me. A rebellious me. A hot-tempered me. And yes, a never-care-about-anyone-else me.


I learned to be considerate. I learned to be patient. I learned to meddle with my temper, and the list goes on. It's like I've changed into another me who is totally different. An ignorant me, a happy-go-lucky me, a bubbly me, and still remains the same, a never-care-about-anyone-else me. So fake, so pathetic yet so true. No, seriously guys, it's not fake; I've really changed. A revolution of ME.


After the 'humiliating' incident, my temper came back. It's sad, isn't it? I tried to forgive and forget since those who did it are those who I loved dearly, but I can't. It's a painful memory I can never erase. I can never forgive them; that's the hardest fact I have ever to accept when I still crave for hope that someday I will be able to forgive them again. I can never do that again. It's painful. Even when the time I type this post, my tears running down the cheeks. What shoud I do? Forgive and forget? I tried. Getting better and better as the days passed by. Apologies accepted. And today, I failed. I failed again. I failed twice. What should I do?


Almighty God, You are the Greatest of all nation, I humbly request to You, heal the wound in my heart, guide me gently so that I may return to Your path O Lord, and never let me go astray again. Bless my family, Lord, for I love them dearly; they are the dearest to my heart. Bless the people around me O Lord, for they are the source to Your guidance in my life. Let me feel Your presence around me Lord. Guide me, Lord so that I may be able to forgive, to forget and to love them once again. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.

I love him, the apple of my eye :)

sisters are best friends forever despite the age gaps :)

they are the dearest to my heart. I heart them all :)

aurelia alviana Fedora
I cried. Yes, I cried just now. Honestly, I feel more relieved after crying just now. Feels like haven't been crying for ages. And yes, do cry your heart out if you feel like wanting to do one. It do eases your feelings. :)

Shun me. Shun me not. Do whatever as you please, but don't ever think that by shunning me makes me being envious of you just because you get more attention from people around you rather than me. I can live without other people's attention. In fact, I don't need one. In which, I don't need to act cute or whatsoever that is similar because I just HATE BEING ONE! Full stop. *inhale, exhale* Now, I feel much, much better.

p/s: this post is written about two months ago and I forgot to click 'Publish Post'. Funny. XD
aurelia alviana Fedora
As I have promised earlier, I will be changing my blog 'look' on my 100th entry. Yupp. Tadaa!! Believe me, it was hard for me to choose a new look. Everything happens for a reason, babe. Believe me, I'm not bluffing this time. Though I know I'm crapping all these while. Bahahaha. Happy 100th entry, miss Beluggie! Hope u're happy today :) well, of course, with the 'new appearance'. XD Well, moving on to the details. DETAILS, honeybees! :)

1. 'MIRAGE'

Well, as I've said earlier, everything happens for a reason. I chose the previous header with such wordings..yada yada.. that's for my past. And the past is the past. I will not tolerate with my past any longer. I've decided to move on and yupp, be a new me. And voila! The 'new' me has resurfaced! Crap. Mirage here represents the state of my mind each time I put a new entry in the blog. Science explains that mirage is a phenomenon in which light rays are bent to produce a displaced image of distant objects or the sky..yada yada.. enough with the scientific explanation. Anyways, mirage is also another word for 'fantasy'...erm...in which I believe that some of the crappings in this beluggie is real crap and some are based on factual reasoning. Again. another bulls**t of crap. Hahaha.

2. PURPLE :)

Gomennasai to Beba :) Bahahaha, not that I purposely choose purple to be the colour theme for this blog, but I can't find any nicer pinkies!!! For God's sake, I won't be choosing pale pink! Ask people in House 16 and they know why :P Again, the greys, whites and blacks represents issues in the past. Keep it simple. :) I like the flowers and the butteflies, though. It's a pity that it's late summer a.k.a early autumn and the leaves are falling. Still, I like the falling maple leaves. Nice scenery. Kudos to the leaves, though they're falling. And hey, let's say welcome in advance to the winter season! You better watch, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town :) lalala...singing Christmas songs!! :) Owh I love Christmas, and of course, back in Malaysia and obviously back home. I miss mummy's cakes :(

Let me show you the ones that I've decided for the beluggies:-


I like this one. It looks elegant. Classy gitu. But then, come to think of it; don't it look a bit...urm...sophisticated?


hehe :) I like this one :)

Bah, until the next entry, toodles :)
Labels: 4 comments | edit post
aurelia alviana Fedora
Holla everyone. It's been a while after the last post... and I don't even can recall when did I last wrote my entry and tadaa! I am writing the 99th entry of my beluggie! This time, I want to declare that I am totally crapping since I am thinking of new 'look' for my beluggie, and I might be changing everything again this time. Hehee. I am not bluffing. It's just that... I don't have any idea. Anyone can suggest me any themes?


i like this picta, by the way :)
aurelia alviana Fedora
Yes, as the title have said. or so it is. I'm back, and I'm back to UK peeps. Sorry for abandoning this blog for quite some time. U know how the internet connection works in Malaysia, so I have no needs in explaining it further. Bahahaha. Let me share wif ya some few things about my holiday:-

1. I did not go anywhere except balik kampung. Yes, I really did not go anywhere. Don't believe my bluffs; I did spend some time...a week or so in KL. Yupp, I was in KL for a week. And that's when I lost my phone. Bullshit that taxi man for not returning my LG phone! Never mind, I got a new one now. So, kira sedekah je laa. But don't ever hope that I halalkan that phone. Mintak2 tangan korang berkudis pas pkai phone tuu...AMINNN!

2. Friends, lovers and lover friends! Beba, Sern and Nick came to Bintulu! It was not meant to be that way, but I blamed series of FACTORS which causes the 'ketidakjadian' of so many things! One of the big troublesome factors is the WEATHER. Kasiannn.. we'll see how it goes next time :)

I can't think of anything at the moment. With all the things happening around me which makes my head dizzy and my heart aches, I better stop and keep it to myself. Anyway, i like that song 'Love The Way you Lie' by Rihanna and Eminem. Check this out :)

video
source:www.youtube.com
aurelia alviana Fedora
*inhale...exhale...inhale*

What the eff is going on now????

Getting pissed off day by day...you're really driving me insane!!!!

My minds says:-

"I'm 21 now. Nobody can control me except me myself. I decide for myself. Parents are not my instructors now, they are my advisors. I can do anything I like...as long as I am sane enough to think the goods and the bads of my doings. I don't bow for other's orders. I am the master of my own beings and belongings. I am me."

My heart says:-

"...well, my mind has said it all..."
aurelia alviana Fedora
It's been a month since I came back home from UK. I enjoyed every single moment at home, in the bed especially. Makes me don't even want to think what I should do next after I woke up. Too lazy (the real excuse *evil grin*) and the room's being too comfy (the 'as always' lame excuse *the more evil grin*). Gomennasaiiii!!!! Seriously I can't believe that I abandoned my bloggie for i-don't-know-how-long-I-have-not-been-blogging weeks!!! And now I crave for sushi...ohh Sushi King!!!! (pls can someone get me a driver? I need to go to the Parkcity Mall now. I want Sushi King!) *don't bother the idiot crappings XD

I just don't even want to start the exciting part of the holidays here because if I ever have to start one, it will be endless since I don't want this excitement to end. You would never want to end one, trust me. It's just like the feelings of where you don't even want to lick your ice-cream until you finishes the cream and left the waffles aside. No harsh feelings, but if I ever to start one, I'll share with you guys. I truly will. Can't wait for the Raya week to come! It's not that we celebrate Raya, but everyone will be at home! It will be truly bliss for me! Geng, balik cepat! Jom lepak! Waterfront menanti! Hahahaha!!!!!

The worse part?? I don't even to start one. Let's just say that maybe I need to change my perception about the definition of 'being kind and warm-hearted to others'. Yeah, I need to change that, and I certainly will change that. It's just the matter of time. I've being exposed to too much examples of being too kind and yet I never realised that it worth the price and value of everything that surrounds me. And I need to change that. I REALLY, REALLY need to change that. The new academic year will be another starting point of the new me. And I do hope that the me in the past will not be the same like me in the future.

Tooo much crappings. It's 5.10am in Malaysia. I need to get back into the bed. Sleep well folks. I'll see you all when I see you. Cheers :)
aurelia alviana Fedora

I guess that you all can answer by yourself by now. seriously guys, because of the price I don't really expect the service to be up to my expected standard (I don't simply mean to compare the service between this airline and well, MAS of course, but I can't help it!) but puhh-lizz laa...don't simply be mean to people! C'monlaa, what can you expect people to carry a bag that weigh 7 kilos only? And, and, and.. if you put other things in your laptop bag, then your bag is not considered as a laptop bag anymore? Be rational, people! Dahla baggage masuk kargo 15 kg je limit. Berbayar pulak tuu. What do you expect from your passangers, AirAsia people? Nama je low cost airline, tapi bayar cm mengalahkan MAS! Mangkuk hayun laa... *sigh*

I underwent all these troubles since I was in Stansted already. I thought that this happened in international flights only. Who knows that AirAsia had already changed their policy - and I am not aware of it?? Why did not I know about all these? *grunts* Hilang respek aku. Urgh...
aurelia alviana Fedora
It’s just seem to be pure luck when somebody you totally do not know helps you not only carrying your bag, but to show you what to do when you are totally worn out and yet you still haven’t reach your destination. It happened twice – first, at the train station...I wonder how that guy can see me having difficulties in carrying my bags. Second, upon reaching Liverpool Street Underground Station. Well, I thank God for that. Maybe God knows that I am alone, without anyone by my side. Thank you, Lord, for all the goodness that I have receive from You. You are truly great, a name above all names. Alleluia.

It’s 5.30am and I am in the airport right now. Seems great, huh? Yea, yea, yea. I wander non-stop, looking for a suitable spot where I can sit comfortable after a long night from Plymouth to London and straightaway to Stansted. Just great. At last, I found a spot, stopped my trolley, and sit peacefully until I dozed off, really dozing off until zzzz....

8.30am. AirAsia counter had just opened. Great! Checked in. Off to the toilet to tidy myself. Urgh. Better finish this fast. I need a rest. I need to clean myself! 10.30am. Off to the departure hall. Just about to enter when the guard stopped me and...

“You can only bring in one bag weighed 7 kilos.”

But the backpack is a computer bag.

“Looks to me it’s not a computer bag. It’s more than a computer bag. It is a bag. Can you please put that bag together on the scale?”

 =.=’ Lame. So, I just put my laptop bag.

“You have two bags weighed 22 kilos. You can only bring in one bag weighed 7 kilos.”

Dang! There goes my 40pounds! Bloody arse to that guard!

To be continued...
aurelia alviana Fedora
DD/MM/YYYY

The date. :P Let it be a secret. A sweet escape :) I packed. I glanced for the last time in my room; I can’t sleep. I chatted with Azar until four in the morning. While watching Charmed, of course. Grunting at times for facing the sufferings of packing stuffs last minute – serves me right that I did not pack earlier when I watched Peydot pack her belongings. I don’t really mind. All I want to do when I get home is to have all the fun in the world – and of course, no work. I hate works when I am on breaks. Drive me nuts. *sigh*


Azar promised to accompany me to the train station. Well, I couldn’t say no since I did not say goodbye to anyone. I bumped into Ide and Hafiz Rahman when I was about to lock my house. No one’s in the house. Super creepy man... 5.30pm. I waited for Shidi. Probably he’s still sleeping. Hey, don’t blame me. I did leave a message in his Skype. Wait. And wait. He did not show up. And the rain started to fall. Man, I hate rain in Plymouth.

We talked and laughed and reminisced over many things. Kind of sad since Azar will be leaving us this coming December – he’s returning to Malaysia for good. Wish you the best of luck, Azar. I’ll miss your poyo-ness. Hahahaa. I can imagine by the time they leave, I’ll probably cry. Hush, Baby. Hush. No cries. Friends will always remain friends if you are really sincere and true in your friendship. At times I do regret...for not being truthful in my friendship. For example, with Yna (not real name). Yes, until now, I regret what happens between both of us. She would totally be pissing me off by now. Sorry, Yna. Gomen. Well, things change, and I have changed. But nothing can change the past. Therefore, for this I will never look back.

By the time I am typing this entry, it’s half past ten and I am in the train heading to London. Azar may have accompanied me to the train station only, but from the train station, I must continue on my own. Sometimes in life, not everything has to be done with friends by your side. There are times you have to face the challenge on your own.  *pissed off since this is a totally arse-hole long journey*

To be continued...