aurelia alviana Fedora

Well, today's the day we'll be having our Learning & the Learner examination. Nope, test would be a better word. Yupp, a L&L test. =.=' Good luck peeps! May the force be with you :P
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aurelia alviana Fedora

G                        C                   Em
We drive tonight, and you are by my side. We're talking about our lives,

            C                D                    G
Like we've known each other forever and time flies by.

                         C                     Em              
With the sound of your voice, its close to paradise, 

         C          D
with the end surely near

       G             C                Em                                             
And if I could only stop the car and hold on to you, 

           C                   D   
and never let go, I'd never let go.

        G              C                  Em                 
As we round the corner to your house you turn to me and said

          C                                             
I'll be going through withdrawal of you 

         D
for this one night we have spent

       G                   D                 Em     
And I want to speak these words but I guess I'll just bite my tongue

      C                             D
And accept someday somehow, as the words that we'll hang from

   G                  Em                      
And I, I don't wanna speak these words, 

      C                 D
cause I, I don't wanna make things any worse

   G                  Em                      
And I, I don't wanna speak these words, 

      C                 D
cause I, I don't wanna make things any worse

C            D              G
Why does tonight have to end? 

              D                   Em
Why don't we hit the start, and pause it at our favorite parts

C              D         G             D            Em
We'll skip the goodbyes.  If I had it my way, I'd turn the car around

           C        D
And runaway, just you and I.
aurelia alviana Fedora


Notice that the title of the post is written in total small fonts? This is because this is a part of my life which I never tried to embrace, and never will be. I tried to place it as far as I can so that I won't have to remember the dark memory, but I just can't. In fact, I will never can. No one knows that I'm a victim of sexual harrassment. To be exact, almost being raped.  I mean it. Even at the moments I type this entry, I can't ignore the facts that I was one and I can't change the fact. It left a very deep impact because the doer was a close friend of mine. And this happened 5 years back; yes, when I was in Form 4. More surprisingly, in a class in a school.

Now to think the fact that I am a teacher-to-be, I keep on reminiscing back the days only if I told the teachers what that friend of mine did to me. Not only me, but other friends as well. What if one day later a student came up to me and say that she was sexually harrassed? What if she experienced the incident that's alike to mine? How am I going to help that student? I wouldn't want her to be blame, anyway. Especially if she's just like the younger me. But the main issue here is, how am I going to help her if I can't help myself anyway?

I've learned a meaningful lesson from that incident. A lesson which I think I will keep it to myself, and will share it to everyone when the time comes. For now, I just need to find solutions for my own problem. Supposed you don't want a problematic teacher to help you with your problems, right? Fingers-crossed everything's going to be all right ahead of me then...
aurelia alviana Fedora
[The Fly]

Bias sinar di matamu
Indah tebarkan cinta
Semerbak kasihmu
Luluhkan relung hitam

Oh melati mekar mewangi
Menebarkan seri
Masa indah masa biru
Masa bersemi

Ku ingin terbang bersama
Dan gapai mentari
Tak ingin lepas tak menentu
Jiwa dan batinku
Terangi rasa hatiku yang membeku
Tebari bunga jalanku yang lugu
Untuk diriku (untuk diriku)

Takkan sedih ku menangis
Takkan pula tertawa
Bayangmu 'kan slalu bersinar
Walau waktu berjalan

Oh melati mekar mewangi
Menebarkan seri
Masa indah masa biru
Masa bersemi

Ku ingin terbang bersamamu
Dan gapai mentari
Tak ingin lepas tak menentu
Jiwa dan batinku
Terangi rasa hatiku yang membeku
Tebari bunga jalanku yang lugu
Untuk diriku...oh...oh..oh...


Ku ingin terbang bersamamu

Dan gapai mentari
Tak ingin lepas tak menentu
Jiwa dan batinku
Terangi rasa hatiku yang membeku
Tebari bunga jalanku yang lugu
Oh melatiku (untuk diriku)

Bias sinar di matamu
Indah tebarkan Cinta


p/s: oohh I just love this song :) reminding me of my younger days *bahahahahha!!!!*
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aurelia alviana Fedora
Great. Just great. The upgrading jobs are not done so there are some houses that will be affected. Guess that the word affected best describes the situation since people don't pray for the things to happen, right? Glad that my house's not one. Therefore, I'm still happy blogging here! Yippie! Beba came over to charge her lappy. Trus laa online smadi nganti ada karan balit nak. Hahaha.

She came, with a pizza and a box of ice-cream. HEAVEN!!!!! Imagine guys, the sun's scorching hot outside (but I like the heat :P it's not as same as the Malaysian scorching hot sun!!!!) with one cup of tri-flavoured ice-cream, would not it make a day for you? By the way, it's not enough for me because I am DAYYUM bored in this room! Back to the issue, we google-ing, facebook-ing and what else? Yeah, let's take a look into the oven. Oven, baby! Hahahha~

Nasib the pizza's not burned. Well, a pizza and a cup of ice-cream's still not enough to express how bored I am rite now. Dayyum! *again, with the word 'dayyum...[sigh]* We continued google-ing, facebook-ing, and suddenly I saw my camera at the edge of the bed in a quite-messy room. Dang! I haven't got the time to edit and do some touch ups on the pictures I captured at Stonehenge last Saturday. Yupp. I have all the time in the world, I am just damn too lazy to do it. Great. Just great.


Ben came over and we talked and talked. Click. click. Laugh. Laugh. Eat. Laugh. Click. www.myvue.com. Ahah. Cinema time! By the way, I've just watched Killers last Sunday. It was awesome! Kudos to Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl. It was superb. Cute. Super cute. I like it. And of course, sexaaaayyyy :P Hahahah! I guess I'll update y'all with my personal movie reviews. Checkidaut~


Till the next post, I <3 my life :)
aurelia alviana Fedora

I admit it; it's my fault. Yupp, from your look, I guess that you hate me by now. Hate me then, if that pleases you. I make you feel sad, I make you feel down. I shun you off whenever you are in need. How pathetic I am. You never talk to me ever since, what more to say looking me in my face. I deserve that. I don't deserve to ask for your apology. Therefore, I won't say 'Will you forgive me?' 'cause I'm afraid I might repeat it again in the future. I've been thinking deeply for few days, but I guess nothing can change your mind. Thank you for doing a lot for me, for all these while. I treasure you most, my bestie. Therefore, in this post I won't mention your name. You know who you are, Yes, you. Like I've said before, you'll remain my bestie even if there's anything happen between us. And nothing can ever change that. You can always count on me, though I feel like you won't trust me any more after this. I luv you babe, and I will always will. For the thousand countless times, once again, I would like to say 'I'm sorry for hurting your feelings...' Honestly, that wasn't my intention. It's my fault for not holding to my words. And it's my fault because I am a kind of 'xda pegangan'. I guess I am. I guess that's it. I hope what's happening between us won't affect our friendship, though I guess I am too late to say so...

aurelia alviana Fedora

[Miley Cyrus]

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"


Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking


But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high


There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose


Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb...


The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking


I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going


And I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on


'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose


Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!


There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always be gonna an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose


Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!


Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa...
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aurelia alviana Fedora

Yes, that's what the title says. Get over it. Get over the old feelings. Honestly, I tried to be tough, get over the old feelings but I can't. Those two guys that have been in my life before really gave me a deep blow in my head until each time I think of them, my head feels like it's going to burst anytime. God, what have I done? I miss both of you. You are great pals to me. And nothing can ever replace our friendship. :(

Z and I met during our sophomore years, I guess. X and I met at one camp. Those two guys, Z and X never know each other. Why, of course they don't because they are not in the same school, not even stayed in thesame region of Sarawak. But to me, both of them are the greatest guy best friends I once ever had. Only if that misunderstandings did not occur, we would not have been separated far like this...

Z's now studying far abroad, opposite with me. X's still in Sarawak. I guess X would have hated me by now. I once pretended that this might be the karma for him; he used to be a playboy before. I would never expected that our relationship once meant to be more than friends. Guess everything's over by now. Z? I would rather keep the story to myself. We both were hurt by that time, but I guess he's happy now. And I'm happy for him though I felt a bit hurt inside. Why? Again, maybe it's because of the old feelings.

I wish to get rid of these old feelings. Why? I want to be 100% perfect for him. For my beloved hubby. Of course people are not 100%, but at least why don't give it a try, right?

"Al, ku mcm mok g town
mok join x?"

A message in the skype. Beba cam tauk2 jak. Hahaha. Apa lagik? *evil smile*

Since I am still out of idea of how to susun my sentence, better I take a break and go out. Hahhaa! Till my next entry, daa!~~
aurelia alviana Fedora
This is the product of my 'itchy' hand. ARRRGHHHH!!!!!! Now, I lost connections to some of the fellow bloggers who are my coursemates, my fella juniors, and even my schoolmates! Now I have to do it all over again. Duhh =.=' Arse holes! Guess have to arrange back my beluggie after I'm done with all my assignments =.='
aurelia alviana Fedora
p/s: to protect the identity of X, I shall vary the language in this entry. So if pening2 kapala read my entry because of the variety of language, don't blame me for I am applying my multi-language skill here. 1 Malaysia! hahah~~


運賃はあなたも私の友人は、無知のためのあなたの友人の最高の私たちを遠ざけるしています.

Jy weet nooit die ware betekenis agter die vriendskap, alles wat jy weet, is hoe om te lewe in jou eie wêreld. Daarom is dit beter vir jou om te lewe op jou eie eerder as om ons aan u kant.

我希望在此您将学会欣赏你周围的人。并不是说我们不珍惜友谊,但更宝贵的教训教你一对。

وانا آسف لفعل هذا لكم ، ولكن من أجل الخير الخاص أفضل الخاصة. الناس ليست مثالية ، فهي ليست الله. يجب عليك أن تدرك ذلك

hindi ko gusto sabihin 'narapat ka'. Matapat, ako awa mo. Subalit hindi mo maintindihan sa amin. Huwag sisihin sa amin para sa paggawa ng ito sa iyo.

Ukai peneka ati kami ka ngaga nuan baka tu, tang nuan ka maksa kami. Kami udah cukup btrima kasih bulih kaban baka nuan, tulung anang ngaga kami bakanyak agi. 

Fare ye well, my friend... :(