this is gonna be a total crapping from me. trust me. you would want to ignore this post, but if u still want to scroll down and read it all, please, help yourself.

The winter break has started. Therefore, I would like to make a deduction here that most 3rd years of BEds do not have the motivation to do their coursework. Try and ask around if there is anyone who is enthusiastic enough to be in front of their laptop without going to Youtube or Facebook. Believe me, the possibility of not doing that is ZILCH. ZERO. Even I myself can't force my cute little brain to work when it does not want to. Some kind of positive form of procrastination, rather than saying 'i'm actually lazy enough to do my work', which is more straightforward, but more...emm..negative, I would say.

And yes, I missed celebrating Christmas back home. What a bummer. You might think it's fun celebrating Christmas where the culture is originated from, but trust me, I feel more fun celebrating it back home. Okay, now I feel a bit homesick. Crap. I've missed celebrating Christmas with my family since the year 2009, the year when I first embarked my journey as a teacher trainee cum an overseas student on a foreign soil. It wasn't that bad, I must say. I had lots of fun meeting people and experiencing English cultures here, and wished I had started it wayyyyy earlier. This year, I'm going to celebrate my Christmas the English way lol! Yeah, you read me right. Haha. Kate and Hannah are inviting me to celebrate Christmas this year with their families, and so do Maria and her family. Even Barbara has invited be to visit her in Bavaria to celebrate Christmas with her family. Ohh, I feel so touched! And yet, I can't think of the excitement of celebrating Christmas when all I can think of is moolaahhhhhhss!!! I hate that topic. It's not that they want money in return, it's just me thinking of how to stock up the fridge, how to pay my phone bill, and yes, the super blood-choking accommodation fees really put me lifeless! What the hell Marjon people think when they raise the accommodation fee? I curse you, Marjon accommodation office!

Talking about the accommodation office, I suddenly remembered that I haven't fill in the whatever form it is that we're supposed to hand in hard copy to the office. Bloody hell. We never have to fill that form all these while. Why the heck they want us to fill that now? Bugger. Seriously, I need sort of enlightenment for this Christmas. My Christmas is dying of hope, blessings and prosperity. zzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzz. That kind of dying. Good Lord. What am I going to be? T____________T

Anyways, to all people out there, wishing you all a wonderful celebration of Christmas (unlike me *uhuk uhuk*) and a blessed and prosperous New Year 2012!!!! God bless xxx



notakaki: sambut Krismas bersama assignment dan keje2 dissy :(((((((((

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Hi peeps :)

Haha. No surprises. I just couldn't come up with new interesting topic nowadays. Pardon my hectic-ness, people. Coursework, coursework, and coursework. And my dissertation, of course. There goes my life. Can't believe I've just easily traded my life for these. Pfftt. Anyway, I won't worry much about it. My final year is about coming to its end, say, in few months' time. i"ll definitely be kissing goodbye to my student life and say hello to the world of profession (as if I'm guaranteed to get a post that soon lol!!!) until I'm ready to embark another journey in student's life again, but in different perspective, obviously. But for now, let's just focus on whatever piece of s**t that I need to finish a.s.a.p and enjoy my Christmas break before the torment haunts my life for God-knows-how-long-it-will-last months. Haha.

Anyway, I've just recently discovered few songs that was covered by Boyce Avenue (pardon me, sometimes I get to like something very late lol :p) To cut it short, I would just name a few. For instant, this one:-

We Found Love (originally sung by Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris)


I like this song, because it's really touching. Hahaha. No personal stories related here, honestly. I just like this song :) But honestly, Boyce Avenue made it sounded really good, like REALLY, REALLY GOOD. Woah!!! I'm gonna be their official number one fan soon. Lol!!!!

There are many more of Boyce Avenue's videos out there, and if you wish to visit their Youtube page, just click this link here. Happy exploring people :)

notakaki: Saya mula rindu sama gitar saya. Okke Dove, u're gonna be my numero uno companion cum mi amor as soon as I finish my work. Just u wait!!! :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Hello peeps :)

I'm super duper uber sorry for abandoning my blog for super duper uber long time... that's because I was super duper uber busy doing research (read: dissertation) and completing courseworks and preparing for exams (duhh. like I care. language policies pfftt) everyone's busy with that. tell me about it.

I had a very long hair once and its length reached my waist. So, you can imagine how long my hair was. And and and, I went to the hairdresser and had it restyled (sorry for the wrong grammar, I just can't seem to find the right word ==') to shoulder length (i know right? that's insane!) and i have a FRINGE now. Ohh yess :) You must be guessing that I would have regret having a hair cut now, but guess what, I like it! Yea, sure Al =='

So I'm sharing my new look here. Feel free to drop comments here yea! Right, I need to continue doing my work. Till then, chaloooo :)





...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

As the title states. Or so.

So not me.

Don't be mistaken people. I wasn't relating this post to the song or anything related to it, in fact, I'm trying my best to FOCUS. Yeap. I'm working on my dissertation outlines, but heck, my brain seems not to function properly tonight. I thought that having a warm bath and cuddling a warm cuddly snuggle might help me, but nah, it doesn't work that way. Please, I need a concentration booster! Fine, I'll stop in a minute, hoping that I can finish my work in time. Till then, to all the 3rd years out there who are working on your dissertation, let's give our best shot and do whatever we can, yes?

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

*mode: relaxing. listening to Pitbull feat. Marc Anthony's 'Rain Over Me' :)

This is one post which I've been saying that I wanted to brag about but well, blame my hectic state for that. Lols. rerember my post about my weekend getaway to Bath and Bristol? Well, this is the continuation story lols. Sorry peeps for keeping it too long. As I've said earlier, blame my hectic-ness lols :)

Well, we stayed in Bristol, at YHA to be precise. We tried to find accommodation in Bath, but eventually all the hotels are full, and we're quite fortunate to find accommodation in Bristol. Not too bad eyh? But when I googled for accommodation in Bath, I managed to find it, and yes, we've booked the one in Bristol days earlier. Damnit. Anyway, the accommodation was not too bad, to be honest. We only stayed for one night, so it wasn't that bad, that's all I could say.

We reached Bristol, left our bags at the hostel and headed towards the train station to catch a train to Bath (after some time of getting ourselves lost in the city of Bristol hahaha!!). It took us not too long to reach Bath and we strolled to see the uniqueness of the city. It's unique, I must say. Too bad that we need to pay if we wish to enter the Roman Bath. Pfftt. We got ourselves lost again when we're about to head to the gathering venue. Yeap, you read me right. We had fun getting lost on this day woohoo!

Guess what, the fun part is that 15 of us ate nearly 13kgs of BBQ chicken wings! This is madness! Who cares anyway? We had lots of fun starting the fire for the BBQ (yayy I'm the hero of the day! *mode: perasan kejap*), eating chicken wings, umai (ohh I so missed eating this!!!), lamb, and fish (until today I don't even know what fish did they buy for the gathering lols), playing frisbee, went to their house and had a singing session, bla...bla..bla...that was among the sweetest memories I ever had. Borneons, let's have another gathering soonnnnn!!!!

Anyways guys, I won't talk much, so if u guys wanna know more just scroll down and have a look at the pictures we took on that day. Ciao :)


-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Hello peeps :)

I just came back from the awesome-est Eurotrip everr :) It was the awesome-est, craziest, most happening and the wildest trip I ever had :) Went to France, Swiss, Italy, passed by Austria, spent some time in Germany, had a massive knockout in Netherlands and spend sweet moments in Belgium. 7 countries in 12 days, and time well-spent (read: hectic). Will blog about the trips bit by bit soon, after I fully recovered.

By the way, I had this addiction towards these two songs. I just love it! (p/s: reminds me of my fun times in Florence lols!) Want to know what are those songs? Check it out!

1. Don Omar ft Lucenzo - Danza Kuduro


It must've been played in the radio that time...can't remember well, and we were playing Dumb Charade when we listened to this song. Yes, we were very loud (sorry peeps! but that's what youngsters do when they're utterly bored lol) but this song really sticks in my mind ever since. Don Omar rocks!!!

2. Kanye West ft Rihanna - All of the Lights


I super LOVE this song! They keep on playing this song in Jango.com and oh well, how can I say no to these genres of songs right? ;)

Till then, happy reading people! :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Can't wait!

We'll be off to the big city of London tomorrow at 0335 hrs. Yes, it's tad early in the morning and it's not hell damn in the afternoon. I mean, why waste money on travelling to a destination only for a short period of time? Make full use of it man! Anyway, visiting London is not the whole point of the story since the very next day, we will begin our 12 DAYS EUROPE ESCAPE woohoo! Can you imagine visiting 7 different countries (France, Italy, Swiss, Holland, Germany, Austria and Belgium) in 12 days? It's possible, we're gonna do it soon!

To be honest, I haven't done with my packings. Well, let me see...

1) dresses and tops -checked.
2) shorts and jeans and skirts - checked.
3) winter jacket - checked.
4) thermal wear
5) winter boots - checked.
6) PJs
7) toiletries (toothbrush, toothpaste, lotions, sun creams, perfume...yada yada...)
8) undergarments!
9) footwear (flip flops, socks, sneakers)
10) Laptop, external hard disk, charger, phone charger, iPod cable

Total: 4/10

Fine. I'm not even half done. I hate packing things up. How I wish I can just swing my wand and everything just comes into places, like what Remus did when he packed his belongings towards the end of the movie in The Prisoner of Azkaban. There goes me with my wild imagination again. Blahh.

Anyway, I'll keep you guys updated about my trip. Till then, au revoir :) happy summer break!

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

I just can't believe that I was totally occupied since last Saturday! My God, I can't believe that you people missed me hell much! I am over flattered!! *cairrrr*

Well, I could spent the whole night long telling you guys what have I done since last Saturday, but since it's midnight now, and I'm off to Plymouth Pavilions tomorrow morning for the Big Arts Festival, and to Exeter on Wednesday and will only be back on Thursday night, and off for horse-riding on Friday *fingers-crossed* and off to Efford for mass on Saturday and the list goes on, I promised that as soon as I got hold of my laptop on one of these days I'll be back again. I shall returnnnnn!!!

Till then, enjoy your summer summer peeps!

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Pardon me in the first place, if my language is not on the right track. I am pretty sure this post is gonna be tunggang langgang since I am still mamai and I just woke up from my beauty sleep. :)

Yayy. The title says it. Though I spoil on one module *blah, I ain't care anymore* but seriously, nothing beats the feeling of handing your essay paper when your summer break has actually started. I was like, what the f*** you think when you constructed this essay question?? Trust me, if I were to choose where or who to put the blame on, the factors vary, but then let's just ignore it since I'm gonna enjoy my freedom now :)

Right. What is my planning for the summer break? Seriously guys, I have no idea. I'm not going back to Malaysia for the break *ampuuunn! malas baa :p bah, tahun dpn laa kita jumpa k* and I don't even have the slightest idea on how I shall be spending my summer holiday here. All that I know is that for sure there will always be Guitar Hero and Band Hero and Lips and Singstar and I can name all the games I can play on the consoles :) and perhaps, off to the beach *plss! i need my sweet escape to the beach! sudalaa sia keraja on weekends kan?? anduk oo T____T* and of course, more fun stuffs to be done like windsurfing, horse riding and canoeing, by God's willing *if jadi laa aa. mana tau indak jadi bikin malu jak sia bragging cni haha* ...and on the 22nd of July I'll be off to somewhere for 12 DAYS woot woot!! I'll save the details in my next post :)

To seal my 2nd year degree off, this is my coursework handing in receipt yayyy!!



-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Hello peeps :)

I just came back from Bristol last night, where we spent a night there, and Bath, where the actual event was held, and it was fabulous. It was the Borneo@Europe very first gathering, where we decided to gather all the Borneons (which apparently not all can make it due to various reasons, but we were there anyway :p) at Bath. Eventually they wanted to make it at the University of Bath, but for some reason they changed it to the Royal Victoria Park. Believe me, if I were given an option I would choose not to end the day. It was superb, memorable and indescribable.

Anyways, I am too tired at the moment to blog about everything that happened on that day. I'll blog about it more in the future. *pinky promise >.<* Till then, adios!


-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Tell me, when was the last time you had a water spinach cooked with shrimp paste (kangkung masak belacan)? Does it make your mouth watering right now? Hahaha. It has been a while since the last time I had that dish, and when Beba and I took Amin unintentionally to a continental shop, the shopkeeper said to me...'ada kangkung jual sini...' and straightaway I said to myself, 'I must have a kangkung masak belacan tonight!!!' *roaring evil-ish laughter*


I am a complicated person, yes I am. For a while, I'm with a bunch of friends spending time having cuppa coffee and wander around doing nothing, and a while later, I'm with another bunch of friends who makes me feel very homely. Hahaha. I just love my friends despite who they are. Really guys, I love you all :)

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

I just hate this feeling.

I give up.

...

Fine. I've been trying to give up, but each time I tried giving up, it came back. And it starts again. And it goes on and on until up to one level, it's not there anymore. And I hate it.

Why is this happening to me?????

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

There are times that I feel that I'm such an idiot. I think that i AM one right now. I just feel like one.

Feeling utterly disappointed just because that your other half's suspecting you for something that you don't do is not the best episode in your relationship soap drama. Yes, it is INDEED a soap drama. You can be soapy at times, and you can hold your ego utterly high when both argues until you won't talk for days. Blergh. I experience that, but I never experience the latter part. It's not that we never argues, it's just that we resort to solutions quite quick. That's what makes me love him even more.

Yet, I just can't stand his suspicion; he thought that I was going out with a friend of mine, who's WAYY YOUNGER THAN ME. Idiot. I just don't know what's in his mind right now. I can't talk to him, I'm just too sad. So i spent the whole day doing whatevers (that's because I can't remember what I was doing the whole day) and Youtube-ing instead of doing my essay, which I had promised myself earlier that I am supposed to finish it by today. Too much of thinking going on right now. Blergh. Bummer.

And, I keep on listening to this song. It doesn't make my day any better, but at least I enjoyed it. Do click on the link to listen to it.

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

I have lots and lots of courseworks to be completed in few days time. Completing thousands and thousands of words in a nick of time is equal to committing suicide and referring yourself to a mental hospital. Trust me, you won't like that kind of feeling. I was doing my work these few days, but I don't know why my work hasn't complete yet. Sorry hubby. Not that I am too lazy to do my work, (at least I have started it earlier) but I just don't know why. One of the vital reasons that I can see is procrastination. Moral of the story: Motivate yourself. I know this sounds impossible, but giving it a try is not a sin. Am I right?

Anyways, I've been looking for this one term for quite some time. This is the term when you do something else, for example, Facebook-ing or Youtube-ing while doing your work. Believe me, this really bugs my head until I couldn't concentrate on my work, and suddenly out of nowhere, on my bed in my room at Marjon, today, I got the word! It's OFF-TASKING! It's funny, yes, but it's true. I promise after this I'll continue doing my work. Pinkie promise!

Last Monday and Wednesday, we had a farewell BBQ for Rohan. I think he has landed safely in Mumbai. He'll have a four hours transit before continuing his journey back to Goa. Have a safe trip back home, Rohan. We'll miss you. And your 'Barbie' name. And your pink elephants! I'm gonna miss his presence sooon :(

Anyways, I'm gonna continue doing my work now. Toodles!

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

It's lovely to have music accompanying you in everything you do. Music helps to cheer your day, music helps to soothe your uneasiness, and honestly, music is like a part of what I have to have in everyday's life. Without music in a day, it feels incomplete. Trust me, I love music very much. As much as I love make-ups and hairdos :) It's the ladies' nature. Can't blame much. Lols.

It was really solemn. I tried not to listen to any music in these few days, but I can't. I choose to listen few soothing Christian songs instead. I can't listen to those funky ones, the celebration hasn't begun yet. At least, it helps to calm me down. And at times, helps me much in reflecting what I had done in the past few days, and months, and years. And I cried. Forgive me, Jesus.

Music is beautiful/ But when the music stops, all that's left is silence...

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

I went to Our Lady of Mount Carmel church today at Efford for the Good Friday service. It was good, it was brilliant, I must say. Shockingly, Beattrice, Clare, Bennedette, Mdm Punes and I were the earliest to arrive there although it was half an hour before the service started. It was totally different from Malaysia's Good Friday service - you have to be there at least an hour before the service starts or else you won't get the best seat that you want. Trust me. Lols. Now, come to think of it, was it because I was staying further and Rohit, Kate and Hannah were staying quite close to the church which makes me arrive there earlier than them? Time management wiselike? Good question. I have no idea. LOLs.

Anyways, Damien's mum, Felice and his sister, Michelle invited me over to their house for a cuppa tea and surprisingly, a hot cross bun meal. According to Felice, it's a tradition for English people to eat hot cross buns on Good Friday. The cross on the buns symbolizes the Crucifixion of Christ. The white stuff used to make the cross over the buns are believed to be made from the same dough used to make the communion wafer. A new knowledge I got from English people today. Thanks to Felice for telling me this! And pardon my language as in calling other people's parents' by their first names, but that's the tradition over here. So, don't freak out if you happened to notice that I called my friend's parents by their first names lols! Ahh, for further info on hot cross buns, do click here :)


The whole Lenten season is so interesting - you can never imagine people doing abstinence and give up their favourite stuffs for the whole FORTY DAYS. Plus, different people celebrates the whole Lenten and Easter season differently according to their cultures. It's a bit solemn during this season - no Alleluias, no Glorias, more of taize-like (read: adoration), and of course, more of solemn songs and less catchy ones. I have friends who gave up Facebook for Lent. Some gave up crisps, chocolate and alcohol, but the most common thing to do is to give up eating red meat (read: abstinence). Well, since the Lenten season's going to be over by tomorrow midnight, might as well I shared what have I done for the Lenten season. I gave up shopping (woot2!!!) and alcohol, but apparently I didn't manage to get it to the end since I took them on one of the night during my birthday bash. But at least I managed to give up shopping up to the end of the Lenten season - almost! An honest confession eyh? I shall try it again next year, hopefully I can manage it, at least for forty days. LOLs!!!!!

There are so many things messing with my little brain right now, and I hope that I will be able to sort things out as soon as possible. With the courseworks piling up like crazy, I really need to manage my time wisely. Right. 20 minutes to 11pm and I'll be off to bed soon. I'm working the next morning. Basically I don't have weekends, or the least I can say is I don't really have life. Joking. I'll stop for now. I might be blogging again soon. There are more stories to be shared. Till then, sweet dreams peeps :)

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

by: Chipmunk feat. Chris Brown

Some people love to learn 

Some people wait their turn 

Some people love to fight 

Some people give their life 

[Chipmunk] 

They wanna hold you back tell 'em pee off. 

Whenever they say you can't take the c off. 

I remember when they told me i wouldn't be famous, 

Now my dream and reality's simultaneous. 

And, work your own way to the top 

If they put you on a pedestal, they can take you off. 

And there's a higher level than the top 

You gotta make more, don't make do with what you got 

Yeah, so go and get it in sunny 

Not everybody get's a second chance at getting money 

Or even getting lucky, 

So you gotta fill the hunger in your tummy. 

[Chris Brown] 

I'm always pushing myself to the limit 

Making sure I stay ahead, 

You made me who I am 

From the words you said. 

Some people love to learn 

Some people wait their turn 

Some people, but not me 

I was born champion. 

Some people love to fight 

Some people give their life 

Some people don't believe 

But I was born a champion 

But I was born a champion 

But I was born a champion 

This gon' be the realist shit I ever wrote 

Off the records, no cameras forget a quote 

Some of my family doing good, most doing dope 

I'm from Virginia where they hang them niggas by a rope 

I used to see my momma getting beat down 

Is that the real definition of me now? 

I fell off, back on my feet now 

Heading to the sky, can't even see down. 

And people still study trynna point my flaws out. 

And I be lying if I say it ain't get to me 

But I'm a champion, legend, history. 

Making sure I stay ahead, 

You made me who I am 

From the words you said. 

Some people love to learn 

Some people wait their turn 

Some people, but not me 

I was born champion. 

Some people love to fight 

Some people give their life 

Some people don't believe 

But I was born a champion 

But I was born a champion 

But I was born a champion 

[Chipmunk] 

Ok, no one wants to help, I guess you're on your own 

Build the foundation with the bricks they've thrown. 

In a black and white world true colours show 

Change if you want, everybody grows 

And life's like an ill, but try an' get a hold 

Opinions ain't facts take 'em in an' let 'em go 

You made me who I am 

From the words you said 

[Chris Brown] 

Some people love to learn 

Some people wait their turn 

Some people, but not me 

I was born champion. 

Some people love to fight 

Some people give their life 

Some people don't believe 

But I was born a champion 

Some people love to learn 

Some people wait their turn 

Some people, but not me 

I was born champion. 

Some people love to fight 

Some people give their life 

Some people don't believe 

But I was born a champion 

But I was born a champion 

But was born a champion.

p/s: this song came across my mind when i was freaking out about things that happened around me. Honestly, I'm still freaking out right now. Trying my best to chill out. Inhale. Exhale. Ahh. Who cares. Layan lagu!

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Hello peeps,

Yes, believe it or not, I'm back :) It feels good to blog again after a while of hectic-ness and the unavailability to blog about random stuffs around me. There are too many things that I wish to share this time, but I'll save some for another time :)

Currently I'm in the Charles Seale- Hayne library of the University of Plymouth. Blame Marjon library for having not enough of the books! Ahah, you read me right, I'm in the library... currently taking a break from my current coursework completion. Enough about my coursework. Now, how are you doing? Did u have a good weekend? *an inappropriate question to be asked on days upon reaching the following weekend lols*

The hectic-ness I faced before has made me sick for almost a week. I had a fever and a flu on my birthday. I don't consider that as bad enough since I have lovable friends around me to celebrate my birthday. It was crazy. But I like it. I'll blog more about my birthday celebs in the future. Remind me about that! :)

Right. Now I'm running out of idea. Catch y'all soon! Peace out!

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Ahh, well. I am so lazy (not to say that I am really lazy but actually I don't even have time!) to post something new on the blog. But no worries, I'll try to sum up everything that has been residing in my brain yet too lazy to be blogged about.

Introducing my courseworks. The main reason of why I choose to brag about my courseworks is that (ehem! please take note of the word 'brag' yahhh...) I have four courseworks queuing up, waiting to be completed and the first one will due in less than 3 weeks time! To the hell with that. To make the situation looks worse, I am currently busy with the MFest preparation. To those who don't know what MFest means, MFest stands for Malaysian Festival. :) It's an annual event held in the university as a recognition of the existence of our association, which is the Malaysian Association of UCP Marjon (MAM) in the university and in Plymouth particularly and in the United Kingdom, generally. Ohh! In conjunction to that, I would like to invite everyone, just in case you happen to read this, to our upcoming Malaysian Festival 2011, and the details are as follows :)

Date: 31st March 2011 (don't forget to bring presents as well because it's my birthday..wee! joking! :P)
Time: 10:00am - 2:00pm
Venue: Marjon Quadrangle, UCP Marjon, Plymouth, United Kingdom
Events: Sales, 'khat' and calligraphy writings, cultural performances, fashion shows, traditional games exhibition and many more!

For more information, you can click here to have a look at MAM website :)

Okay, that's one part of the thought ramblings. Well, since I have slipped my mind somewhere, I'm going to continue it some other day. Cheers.

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

I'm am shockingly in a hectic state right now. With all the events coming up as if there's no tomorrow, I am helpless.

I have classes from 9 in the morning till 6 in the evening on Mondays, and that's if I have Academic Support session. (I am in the 2nd Yr and I still have to go for Academic Support session?? WTH??) I have classes from 9 till 4 on Tuesdays, continued with music practice at Plymouth University Chaplaincy frm 7 till 8 in the evening. I have lectures on Thursdays at 12. I have seminars on Fridays frm 9 till 11. I work on weekends frm 6 till 10 in the morning. Basically, I have no life.

Sometimes I wish I can quit doing everything that I have done and have a fresh new start on something I have not done before. Believe me, it's not as easy as I could just say it out. It's hard. It's painful. Especially when you have allocate time for something and it turns out to be cancelled at the very last minute. That's not a nice thing, isit? Well, that's life. There will always be unexpected things happen at the very last minute.

Basically, I have no life. And my ramblings end here. Ignore my post. Thank you.

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Hello peeps :)

I'm not going to post anything at the moment

a.k.a

I'm gonna leave my blog full of cobwebs soon...

Coz I'm quite occupied. Right now. I promised, I will be back after everything's over. Toodles!

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

i went for a walk together with my church mates to Shaugh Prior, Dartmoor. The weather's not excellent for a walk, but we just cracked on anyway. Well, I liked the fantastic view there. I liked places with beautiful views. Didn't manage to capture all, but at least I got to campture some, aite?

Let the pictures do the talkings :)











As a result to that, now I have headache and my body aches all over. Urgh. Have to rest. Till then peeps, bye :)

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

We had a good meal, we played card games, they played Cranium while I was busy reading my blog comments and yada..yada..and the list goes on.

I came back from the birthday bash nearly midnight, and I don't even have the slightest idea why did I login on my Yahoo Messenger. For God's sake. Am I half-asleep or half awake? Something caught my attention. An offline message. From someone I know. Someone dear to my heart. But not anymore. Not till today.

Why today? Because I came to my own *kesedaran* while playing card games just now; suddenly I said to myself, to like something doesn't mean that you will own something. It's just that to like something is merely a feeling that you like, and that's it. Like and only like. Not more, not less.

I like handbags. I like wedges. I like beautiful dresses. But that doesn't mean I can own everything. Unless I make sacrifices - take the four month allowances, for instance. I would have to think between a handbag and a one-week dinner. So, to sacrifice, if I want to buy a handbag, I would have to sacrifice my one week dinner. Is that worth it? Unless you come from a filthy rich family, perhaps one day you will consider thinking like me. You will. Just not yet :)

Enough with the nonsence talking and midnight blabbering, now off to bed. Goodnight peeps. *yawn*

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

I looked happy from the outside. I looked occupied. I seemed to be enjoying my life to the fullest. But, does that really showing the real me???

I had never been a happy girl. I had been badly hurt inside. But, who cares? All other people care is their pride. And all I can do is to pour out my tears, thinking why all these should happen to me.

I learn to be a tough girl. And I am. Still. In my effort. To be tougher and tougher each day. And I know, I will, soon.

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-

Since I've read Clare's blog on this, I have a deep thought about this and I said to myself, why not I do the same thing as well? Well, these are the elements in my life that I've been very thankful for God has given them to me. I heart u all :)

1. Mummy and daddy

I'm the eldest in the family and that makes me the most pampered one, theoretically. Yes, it was, for a while before I had three younger ones, stealing my limelight! D'ohh! Joking2 :P Still, I felt grateful for having my mum and my dad as my parents (tho they're strict to the four of us. Ohh yess, I believe that one of the reasons they're being 'dictatorous' *does this word exist??* is that their children are all girls and we need to be attended to so that we won't go astray!!! So dramatic. Hahaha. Trust me, I really felt grateful for if they're not being strict to me before, I won't be where I am today. Thank you, mummy and daddy :) *sob2. tharu kejap.okes,habis drama*

2. My sisters

We can be crazy sometimes. We can be cranky at times. But for sure, we are always being supportive towards each other. Sisters for life! Of course, I love them :) I admit, I am not a good sister. Why? 1) I alws make fun of the 2nd one since she's the shortest among us four. By patting her head. Jahat kan? That's so me :) 2) I used to order my 3rd sister to do most of the chores in the house since she's the one yang paling xpndai membantah. She's the most obedient one. She never asks anything from our parents, even just for a new pair of white shoes. Note to self: no orders for her anymore. :P 3) I always think that even tho the youngest is the youngest, the treatment should be fair and equal. I once was quite crossed when my parents sort of being lenient to my 4th sister. But then, come to think of it; I am not in the house anymore, my second sister's now in UM, and my 3rd sister's gonna finish her secondary education this year. So, I guess that I should let her be my parent's doll. BIarlaa ba. Budak kicik ja pn. p/s: She's thirteen this year, but her body size's like a nine year old. Kurus je lebih. Cam lidi. My bad :P

3. My circle of friends.

I was away from home since the age of thirteen. My friends are like my second family. Be it in the secondary school (I was a boarder; I'm an alumni of SM Sains Miri), matriculation (2 months plus in Labuan Matriculation College is not a short period of time),in the teacher training institute (Gaya Teacher Training Institute 2007-2009), or in Marjons (here I am now!) I met lots and lots of friends. To be really, really far away from home is not as easy as I thought. The things e.g. my working life etc. really bugs my thought and it really makes me feel sad for being faraway from my family. That's where I feel that the presence of friends are to be valued. Thanks pals, be it dudes or babes, you all are dearest to my heart. Love you all :)

4. Chenta Hati Saya <3

I'm being grateful for him to be beside me and to stand by me through thick and thin for the past two years and how-many-months. In short, it has been almost three years we've gone out together :) Schweetttt! *Joking!!!* I miss his cranky-ness, I miss his craziness, I miss everything about him. We've been through a lot just to maintain our relationship and I never expect it to be this far. I pray may he'll be happy with me though I may not be the best life partner, but I'll try my best to make him happy to be beside me and to make him realise that I'm truly for him. Yes, I may have been a bit cheeky and a bit naughty at times (of course! I never can be a goody goody girl! That's so not me!) but I just want him to realise that I just can't change that over a night. That's so not me. I think he understands me better now. Forgive me for being not good e.g. being so-called queen control, i guess. I'll never force you to do my way again. Love you so much, honeybee :)

How about you out there? Care to share your gratitude journal as well? :)

-nukilan al yang chantek ahakz :P-