Hello peeps.

I'm back again :) Now, I'm settling much in KK, back from the good 'ol England (hoping that I wont miss UK too much but only God knows how I really feel at the moment :'( ) Too many stories to be shared here, but I'll try to break them bits by bits, hoping that u guys wont feel bored and sleepy (zzZZzz...) reading this post. Or else, ignore me. Lol.

I was a bit surprised knowing that arranged marriage still exists in the current world. Lol. Ahh well, can't really be bothered. But, the thing is, I can easily ignore this fact if I'm not involved in this matter. Why do I say so? Because I am one of them! Can't believe that this thing happens to me. Dear me. Reading Vina's post on this matter makes me think deep. Why me?? *heavy sigh* Bloody bla bla bla. Ignore me.

Ignore that stuff. Ohh yeah, I welcome me self back to the hot and humid Malaysia, where mosquitoes hunt humans for blood, ur skin darkens as a result of standing too long under the sun, and your favourite pastimes are hanging out at spots where mouth-watering delicacies are available and you eat like no one's watching u. *clap3!!* Yea right. And I'm back to the infamous Gaya, where I dont get my old C44 back, the prices for the food in the cafe is blood-choking, and the facilities...ohh God, I dont have to describe it. You can just imagine yourself. If you can't, dont imagine. You'll lose your apetite. Trust me. Thank God I don't stay in the hostel anymore - I'm renting somewhere outside - and I'm able to cook my own food. Hahah.

Hmm. What else should I say here? I have something on my mind. Can't really put it into words, and this sums up muchly everything I feel at the moment.

Why


I'm tired of waiting.
I'm tired of giving it a try.
I'm tired of everything. When I say everything, I mean...EVERYTHING.

Why waste time waiting for something that's impossible?
Why hope when something is never to be seen from the start?
Why do you let yourself be immersed in the illusion that is supposed to be never exist, even now?

That's it.
I've had enough.
It's time for me to move on.

Thanks for leading me on when you're not there to catch me when I fall.
I just hope you've enjoyed the show.

That's it folks. Till next time, blessed Ramadhan al-Mubarak to all the Muslims out there :)

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Olla peeps.

I'm back :) ... *twiddling fingers* ...

Honestly, I can't even remember when was the last time I blogged about something. Time passes and tomorrow I'll be heading home. To the motherlandddd!~ ...*awkward silence*...

I can't be really sure about my feelings at the moment. I'm not even sad, I'm not even excited. As if...I'm not even back for good. Not yet. Of course, u bugger. I'm still here for another friggin' 23 hours and 58 minutes! *scrape2* ...ignore my monologue pls, thank you.

Sometimes, I'm not so sure myself what is really happening to me. Don't get me wrong. I welcome changes in my life for the sake of greater good *chehh!* and for all the good reasons, but there are times I just wonder if I really make the right decision. I don't even know if I really need to make those changes, and thus, wasting mre time when actually there are many things that can be done at the same time. Many a times we will encounter a divergent where we have to make decisions, hoping that it will bring out the best in you, but of course, life is never fair. You made the wrong choice and you failed. You regret the decision made, hoping that you can turn back the time, wishing that you would choose the path you hadn't wish earlier. As much as we hope we could turn back the time, we do realise that time flies without looking back into the past. Even if second chances exist, it's not going to be the same...simply because everything's changed.

I've been regretting so many things in my life as I grew up. Many experience gained and yet I still failed to learn from the past. The ignorance and the hardheaded character has led me to who I am now. Had I not been too ignorant or too stubborn, I would have been a different person today. I didn't blame the hardheaded character that I possess. It's in the blood; I do realise that. Ahh well, how will I ever learn?

Till then, pray may God ease our journey back to Malaysia.

...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Olla peeps.

I know, you don't have to tell me. I know, I know. I should be doing my activity plan (note that THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW: I'M SO DEAD!) and yeah, I'm here crapping on my beloved bloggerspace blahhh!!! A form of procrastination you should've notice since my early days as a student lol :p

Anyways, yeah. I didn't realise that I've come to the end of my life as a 3rd year undergraduate student in Marjon, and 5th year as a teacher trainee. One more year to go and I'm a qualified English teacher! How time flies. I remembered those days when we gathered together at KL International Airport on September 26th 2009, when we first flew together. Only God knows what kind of faces we pull when we have to meet our counterparts and fly together with them. Embarking our journey together in the UK, being mixed and being put in two different groups, Raleigh and Drake.

3 years have passed. It has been 3 years we sat together in Room 168, listening to only God knows what kind of lectures we have, what theories we have learned and the hardships we went through just to jump out of the bed, having to attend 9am lectures almost every days during the week. Now, we're going to be separated again. Back to square one, where we were first known as the Gaya and the KB groups. Why? We went through the bittersweet moments together for 3 freaking years, and now we're going to be separated again when our journey is nearly towards the finishing line...? I'm going to miss you, Raleigh, as much as the Drakes will miss each other, and each and everyone of us, despite the different institution and the different groups we were place; because we are united as one big family.

I'm going to miss you guys, soon. :'(


...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Olla, peeps. I am back. After 7 friggin' days of no internet (damn u network server!) and endless attempts of winning Mahjong Titans and few attempts of trying to win the double suit Spider Solitaire, I'm back in the virtual world. So, smile :) Yea, sure.

As usual, I'll be crapping first and if this bores you, you may stop reading and leave this page. If you feel interested enough to read through the post, you are more than welcome to do so. Well, I'm doing fine, so far, I think. Basically, I'm being haunted by the assignments at the moment and there are tonnes of readings I need to do, but ahh well, the student's nature tells me to procrastinate more than moving my bloody arse to be in front of the Microsoft Word 2010 as always to get on with the bloody work. Pardon my language, people. It's just me with my daily rants procrastinations.

Farewells and more farewells soon. 9 days from now, that'll be exactly a month before I head home to the beloved motherland. For good. For real. Yes people, you read me right. I'm going back soon. I've been here in this foreign soil long enough to miss my family, to miss my childhood friends, the greatest arch nemeses I ever have a.k.a the cousins, the alumni, and many more. I'll miss everything I have here - the parishioners of Our Lady of Mt.Carmel, Efford, Plymouth Unis CathSoc, Plymouth Uni students - u guys rock! we need to jam again soon hell yeah :) - and of course, the Marjonians. *sob..sob...sob* enough with that. Too many dramas. Lol.

Breathing the air of motherland is what I'm looking forward to, but don't get me wrong. It's just... I don't expect it to be this quick. There are more things that I wanted to do, and yet there are so little time left. I'm not being soapy here, it's just that I couldn't bear the thoughts that I'll be leaving England so soon. I'm not ready yet. But, when will I be ever ready? How can people believe the portraying facade when eventually it's torn inside? Things that once seemed to be definite once, I managed to put that away, although the decision made hurts both sides. But, again, until when?

Enough craps, enough lies. I just need more time. And space. Until I'm ready to be exposed to the world. Again. But when?



...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...

Hi again.

it's been a while since the last time I posted my latest post. Yea, ignore the word repetition there. It's just be being idea-less because I can't think straight. Anyways, how's life?

Emm. Yeah. So... I'm going to talk about mine. Shit. Seriously people. I wish I can stop crapping when I just feel uneasy but that's just me. I can't simply put into words to describe my actual feelings.  You might think I'm happy, but actually I am not. To be honest, I've been bottling things up lately. It's not good, I realised that. Ahh well, ignore me.

Thanks to the clans who are always up to bully me (well, I know they don't meant that because they ABSOLUTELY LOVE me!), and to my friends as well. You really create the wonderful colours in my life. I appreciate that. You guys are really angels sent from God to accompany me :)

And yes, I will continue to smile even though only God knows how I feel inside.


...genuinely comes from my heart and my brain, not from anywhere else unless stated...